It's a Small World

I don't want to ride this.

This is the caption "You are going to ride It's a Small World whether you want to or not. This is something your sister wants to do, so stop the fussing."

Okay, but I don't have to listen to the song. Side note: Stephen told him that if he rubbed his ears through the whole ride, he wouldn't hear the song. I am sure the people behind Matthew wondered what in the world was wrong with him!


Nothing that a couple of rounds on the teacups won't fix.

Reality tv my friends...so much drama over a ride...it's unbelievable!

Tuesday's Takeaway

If you know me well, you know that I love to read. I buy books every time I go to Lifeway...more books than I have time to read. I rarely read a book that I completely dislike. I am not overly critical of books. I feel like I learn something every time I read a book. God speaks to me through books. Yes, He speaks to me through His Word and through music, but I always walk away from books feeling like I heard something from Him loud and clear.

I've picked this book up several times. I think I actually had it in my bookstore basket at one point, but put it back. This is so not like me. If I even think I'm interested in reading a book, I buy it and then I pass it along to someone else knowing that I may never get it back. It doesn't do me any good just sitting on a shelf and I have plenty that are just sitting on the shelf. Derek sometimes wants to clean out our bookshelves because he's neat and tidy like that, but I always think that I might run into someone who needs that book or I just might read it again.

Anyway, I decided not to buy the book. Why, I don't really know. But my sis-in-law got it for me for Christmas. Perfect gift because it was a great read and I finished it today. I cried through several chapters, but it's worth the read. The Chapmans have an incredible story of God's grace, but one thing I learned is that God is in the small details. There is no way that so many details of their lives were just "coincidence". We serve a sovereign God who is involved in the intimate details of our lives. This book reminded me of that. It reminded me that I should cherish each day more because our days are numbered by a sovereign God. It reminded me that my husband truly is a gift and my children are too, even though some days they drive me crazy...just being honest!

But most of all, it was a reminder to me of how loving our God is. There are so many quotes in this book worth holding onto, but the one that grabbed my heart the most was by Hudson Taylor. He says, "May this be your experience; may you feel that the Hand which inflicts the wound supplies the balm and that He who has emptied your heart has filled the void with Himself."

The Beginning of Disney 2010

We've driven to Disney the last 5 years. This year we decided to fly. Stephen and Matthew have been on a plane with their Papa as pilot. Elizabeth has never been. We talked about it and everyone seemed excited about the first big plane ride.

And then a winter storm came and the kids got out of school early and our flight was almost canceled, but we made it out just in time. They de-iced the plane and Elizabeth wondered about this. Matthew proceeded to tell her all the things that could go wrong that might make the plane crash. Elizabeth was very concerned about the "captain of this ship" and would he know how to drive "the ship". She didn't like the take off...tears would come...and I would have to show some mercy and compassion. I really needed some medication for me and for Elizabeth to calm us both. I don't have any fear of flying and so I have no idea how to comfort someone who does. I very well might have done a lousy job!

We didn't get to Orlando until about 11:00 or so because of delays and it was 1 am by the time we made it to the hotel. Everyone was tired and cranky and just wanted to be in the bed. So, let me tell you at 1 am in the morning, the services at Disney resorts are limited. We were all thirsty, but the stores are all closed as well as the food court. I think there were a total of 2 employees working the massive resort at 1 am in the morning.

They showed us how to get to our room on the map, but obviously Derek and I don't follow directions well at 1 am with 5 pieces of luggage and three very tired and cranky kids. We took the scenic route around the resort in probably 32 degree weather pulling the luggage behind us. When we finally made it to our room, we all just fell into the bed. No teeth brushing or anything...shocker, I know! We had to get up early because Magic Kingdom was waiting....

I am telling you that this trip would've made for some good reality tv. And this is only the beginning....

If You're Waiting for a Christmas Card From Us....

it'll have to wait until 2011.

The week before Thanksgiving, I decided to remove some things off my "to do" list for December. I honestly think that we couldn't fit anything else into our December even if we tried...we're going on vacation, going on a mission trip, celebrating a birthday, selling a van, buying a new camera (stressful), shopping for Christmas, celebrating Christmas, going to Christmas parties, and the list goes on and on. I decided that sending Christmas cards was going to stress me out, so I crossed it off my list. Done! And now when I receive all the beautiful pictures and Christmas cards in the mail, I think, "What was I thinking?" But I will not pick up something that I decided to not do this year. I am opting out and not caving to peer pressure. And so, here's all you get.

Merry Christmas!! May your 2011 be incredibly blessed with abundant blessings from our Lord and Savior! We are so thankful for our three blessings that are growing up entirely too fast!



AND

Merry Christmas! May your 2011 be full of all kinds of laughter and joy. This is just a glimpse into the "reality show" of our lives. "Oh, are we having pictures done? I thought we were just here to be silly!"

More Sweet Kisses

Thanksgiving...so much to be thankful for. My list could go on and on, but the week of Thanksgiving brought a lot of sweet kisses this year.

Sweet kisses...unexpected blessings from God. He sends them probably every day, but we don't always see them. This week I feel like I saw them more clearly. They came in the form of...
-a sweet note from one of my children's birth relatives
-a hug from my three year old nephew...just because
-friendship...wow, too many to name here...some are lifelong friends, some are new friends, some are co-workers, some are former co-workers, but all of them are just precious and I am incredibly blessed
my kids making a big deal out of my birthday, even when I don't think it's that big of a deal!
-family...some by blood, some by marriage...all of them are lots of fun and all of them give me great blog material which you will probably never read...just because some things stay in the family
-and Thanksgiving morning, my birthday, I got the sweetest and most encouraging note from one of my children's birth moms. I wish I could share it, but it's private and precious. I read it early Thanksgiving morning on my phone and it brought tears to my eyes. Tears because she gave me a most precious gift, her sweet and precious child and only by God's design plan and the power of His love could I receive such an encouraging note from her a decade later.

But our God is an amazing God who showers us with sweet kisses all the time. Sometimes we miss them, sometimes we see them clearly. When we see clearly, then we see just a glimpse of our most precious Savior. The same Jesus that died on the cross for my sins is interceding on my behalf and He's asking our Heavenly Father to shower me with blessings...with sweet kisses. What an incredible and amazing God. I hope you don't miss Him today and that you feel a sweet kiss straight from the hands of our Lord.

A Bleeding Heart

I cried my way through a book called "It's Not Okay With Me" by Janine Maxwell. On the back of the book it says, "This book is not for the faint of heart." and it's really not. I cried through the book and then cried at night and then cried on the way to work. And if you know me well, you know that I'm not always a cry baby. But the evil in this world...the evil that is done to children, wow...it ripped at my heart. My heart bleeds and may never be the same, but that is okay with me. I've prayed for God to give me His heart. I think He gave me just a tiny glimpse and it hurts. How deeply grieved our Heavenly Father must be as He looks at the evil in this world.

Why would I read a book that is so heart wrenching and gives details about the atrocities done to children? Because it reminds me that as Christians we need to do something. Instead of getting distracted by the cares of this world that have no eternal value, we need to bring hope to the hopeless. We need to bring Christ to those who have never heard. We need to be the mother and father to these children that tragically lost their parents because of AIDS or malaria or starvation.

I don't know what that looks like in your life or mine. I'm not about to tell you what it looks like. I'm on a journey (I guess my family is on a journey) and I don't know the final destination. I know part of it is going as often as possible. Part of it is working for an organization that sends teams to be the hands and feet of Jesus (Check us out--Visiting Orphans) Part of it is paying for Yasen to go to school in Ethiopia. Part of it is paying for Sandra to have proper care at an orphanage in Nicaragua. Part of it is giving to great organizations that provide mosquito nets and water and food to those desperately in need. Part of it is praying. Praying for those we sponsor and praying for those that I don't even know who are just about to lose hope. Praying for the girls that are being abused today. Praying for the little ones that are watching their mother die. Praying for the girl that is willing to sell herself just so she has some food to eat today. Lord, I beg you to intervene on their behalf. How selfish my prayers have been focusing on myself and things that really don't matter in comparison to these tragedies.

And so, I've decided after reading this book that it's not okay with me. The evil in this world makes me angry. I have a holy frustration...a frustration that I can't forget, that I won't forget and that is determined to do something...for one child, for two, for three...whatever it takes...whatever that looks like in my life.

Janine talks about how we can become overwhelmed by the numbers, but giving one hope is enough if that's what God is calling you to do. "If it's not enough, then do more. If you can't do more, then stop making yourself crazy."

And I stand in agreement with Janine that this would be my message to those in Africa "It's not okay with me anymore that your children are dying in front of you from hunger, and that you are naked and that your husband died of AIDS. It is just not okay with me! And I am going to do something about it."

What about you?

Seeking Approval

So it's been an interesting couple of weeks around our house. I have been listening to a sermon series on family. I quickly realized that I still have much to learn when it comes to parenting and probably life in general for that matter.

One of the messages was entitled "blessing" and it references John Trent's and Gary Smalley's book called The Blessing. It talks about how everyone desires "the blessing" from their parents and others. I stink at "giving blessing". Words of affirmation...not my love language in the least. And so God gave me at least one child possibly two, that crave "words of affirmation". Isn't that just like God to make my life a little difficult? To give me children who don't think like me and don't receive love in the same way that I do. I can buy you some gifts like you wouldn't believe. I can serve up some acts of service...if you need words of affirmation...I'm terrible...in both written and verbal form, I flat out don't have that gift.

Deep down, I have a people pleaser mentality. Most people probably do. I want my kids to like me and my friends to like me and just people in general to like me. But sometimes God calls us to do difficult things which might in fact make people not like me. My children would probably like to hit the dislike button at least once a day. Parenting is tough. It's not for the faint of heart...especially if your kids are 10, 9 and 8 and very opinionated. God had me camping out on this verse the other morning.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
I tried to push it out of my mind, but He just kept putting it in there over and over again until I submitted and agreed that I am a servant of Christ and that means that I shouldn't seek the approval of men.

And then the test came....I went to the kids' school on Thursday for their Thanksgiving lunch. Elizabeth was so excited to have me there. Matthew was excited to have me there. Stephen not so much. He gave me a little wave as he was getting in line for lunch. He picked up his lunch and then disappeared. I didn't know where he had gone. I had saved him a seat to sit by Matthew and me. He was nowhere in the cafeteria to be found. He was gone. I debated...do I go find him or do I just leave it alone? I really thought that no matter what decision I made, it'd be the wrong one. He's probably complain about whatever I decided to do. I asked my friends Jerry and Leigh..what do you think? Jerry gave me some wise words, he said, "You let it ride. Right now he doesn't care that you're here, but in 20 years, he'll remember that you were" And so I left it alone and Stephen didn't say anything about it when he got in the van that day. I asked him why he didn't sit by me and he told me that he wanted to sit with his friends. I could've given the lecture about how he gets to sit with his friends every day and that I took time out of my day to come and have lunch with him. Didn't he know that I had other things I could be doing....blah, blah, blah. But I didn't, I just said okay. My feelings were hurt ... just a tiny bit. I have some pretty thick skin, but it was a reminder of two things

1. I shouldn't be seeking the approval of man (my kids)
2. Stephen is growing up....ugh, that one is hard to write.

I love him just as much even though he didn't want to have Thanksgiving lunch with me.

Orphans, Disney and Dentists

I went to the dentist yesterday and had to have two fillings replaced. Fun times! I haven't had any dental work done since I was probably 10 or 11 years old. I am so thankful for a great dentist. He was gentle and kind and while he was numbing my mouth, he started talking about Disney. If you know me well, you know that I love to talk some Disney. Turns out we'll actually be there at the same time this year, but he told me about some yummy foods that I have obviously been missing when I go to Disney. I will be trying them this year!

And while he was working in my mouth and there was absolutely no way for me to talk, he starts talking about Sunday being Orphan Sunday and how his pastor taught on orphans and adoption and so on and so on. He tells me that he's thought about adoption more than he ever had after that sermon and how the church needs to rise up and take some ownership of all the orphans (143 million) in the world. I read a statistic that if only 7% of Christians would adopt, there wouldn't be any orphans left in the world. Obviously, some orphans aren't available for adoption...I understand that, but the statistic is still staggering. Doing something does make a difference!

The craziest thing though was being in that chair and not being able to say anything. I was about to come out of my skin because obviously I have lots of thoughts on orphans, adoption and missions. And I thought as I left that so many times, the enemy has us in that exact position where we remain silent--whether by choice or because of fear or because of circumstance.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.
Proverbs 31:8-9

Orphan Sunday -- Can You Help?

To whom much is given, much is required. It's not original with me, but I use it all the time because I think Americans are incredibly blessed and that we'll be held accountable for what we do or don't do with our money. What can you give up this month to provide basic supplies for these children in need. Could you give up a meal out, a new pair of shoes, a new camera (this is what I want!). Read the post below and pray about what you can give to buy towels, clothes and necessities for some of the sweetest and most precious children on earth.

Repost from Sumer:

I still so clearly remember standing in the trash dump on January 7th of this year. I remember the smells, the noises, the exact spot where I stood, and the names of all the people standing around me. I remember God so clearly saying, “This is it, this is where I would be if I still walked the Earth, and this is where I want you to be.”

And then later as I walked into my room, and saw the outline of her sunglasses on Angela’s ash covered face, I remembered the prophetic words of Isaiah…“Bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes.”

I had two boys in mind to begin the journey, a beautiful young girl had captured the heart of my friend Tabby, and another guy on our trip was partial to an older boy. And so it began, we were going to move 4 kids out of the trash dump. I don’t know how it happened, I have no good explanation other than divine intervention, but word started to spread and we started to get people committing to sponsor other children.

My initial hope was for 100 kids. But for a long time that seemed like an unattainable goal.

And when we got in a new set of profiles that almost doubled our initial list I started to worry, but thankfully the plan was not dependent on me…God had a plan and I was just along for the ride.

And as you all know, 9 months after my first trip to the trash dump on Ethiopian Christmas day, we moved 250 kids to a boarding school in the beautiful countryside.

We have had some growing pains, and faced a steep learning curve. About running a ministry, and dealing with the local culture. A major bump in the road was when the school informed us two weeks before school started that the cost of yearly tuition had increased by over $100. Now initially that took the cost of tuition alone up over the amount of the sponsorship, and I again started to get very worried.

Thankfully, we serve the One who calms the storm with a word, and the very next week the value of the local currency changed in favor of the dollar and we were back to the original amount! Not good for the local economy, but good for us.

And we have learned that one or two outfits is not nearly enough. Their clothes are constantly dirty and wearing out quickly. They do wear their uniforms to school, but only during school hours, and then they wear their personal clothes. The children all need more clothes.

Nonetheless, along with the blessing of 250 kids, comes the strain of the getting them their necessary supplies. Our teams have paid thousands of dollars in excess baggage to take over clothes, shoes, and school supplies. We will continue to pack shoes over because the quality of shoes in America is so much better, and we are so grateful for the donations of shoes that we receive from Soles for Jesus.

We have decided that it is best to buy their other necessities such as clothing, toiletries, and school supplies in their local community. Usually the items are cheaper, it supports the local economy, it saves us money in baggage fees, and it opens space for sponsors to keep sending fun packages and letters and for teams to bring over other necessary items such as medical supplies.

Therefore, we are asking for monetary donations to purchase more clothing, toiletries, and school items for the children. We are hoping to get every child another pair of pants or a skirt, and two more t-shirts. They each also need a towel, and we will continue to buy body soap, laundry soap, notebooks, and pencils for the children every two months.

All donations will go 100% to the needs of the sponsored children at the boarding school, and all donations are tax-deductible. Please mail donations to:

Project 61 PO Box 126 Thompson Station, TN 37179

Or if you are a member of my home church, you can make out your check to Project 61 and place it in the offering on Sunday morning.

It's Not Enough

I spent my Saturday with some amazing people who love orphans and who love Visiting Orphans. Some are old friends, some are new friends, but all have a passion for the Lord and for the fatherless. We all want to see hope brought to the hopeless. To see healing brought to the brokenhearted. To see the invisible God become visible.

And as I sat there with tears in my eyes, just overwhelmed by the evil of this world, I was reminded once again that God catches our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). That verse first came to life as we faced infertility and then a miscarriage. The tears that come when someone has hurt us or when we realize that we've hurt another. The tears that come when we say good-bye to someone we love dearly either because of death or because God's calling them to another state or another country.

But as my tears fall, I have all the comforts of America. A comfy bed, a comfy house, plenty of food, plenty of clothes to keep me warm, clean water, a hot shower, and I am surrounded by sweet and precious friends and family. But what about those who don't have this...not just the bed and house and clean water. What about those who have no one? Who spend their nights on the street? Or those who have no one because they're not willing to share their story because it hurts to much and so they just keep quiet and perhaps without others knowing, they are slowly dying inside.

Our job is to make an invisible God visible. Our call is to be His hands and feet. Our call is to go to the fatherless and to those who need hope and love. They need to hear about a God who is with them in the good times and the bad.

Whatever you're doing...it's not enough. I'm not doing enough, you're not doing enough. We are only given one life. Let's make every day count. Today is the day. Do something kind for someone in need or someone who is hurting either on your street or across the world.

I say it often, but it's the truth. It's in the Bible. To whom much is given, much is required.

I Don't Want To!

It sounds like something my kids would say, but instead it's a conversation that I've been having with the Lord for the last couple of days. A little temper tantrum that I've been throwing for a couple of days. It doesn't change the Lord's mind. I'm still called to do what he's asked me to do and I'll do it, but I want to pout a little just like Jonah. The book of Jonah...talking about people who are different than us and reaching out to those very people. Loving those people that we don't like...maybe they've hurt us, maybe they're just different, but God still calls us to love them.

And in my flesh, I want to like everyone and I want everyone to like me, but let's face it, that's not real life. And so when Sonja posed the question in class about "do we have to like everyone?"...it was a good question and one that I've thought about for hours now. I don't have to like them. I just have to love them and show that love to them whether I like them or not. Easier to type than to actually do.

And so...I'm going to obey...no need to delay....I don't think the ship to Tarshish is leaving anytime soon and the thought of a terrible storm on a ship, then being thrown overboard, then being in the belly of a whale for several days...well, I just think obeying God the first time is easier.

What about you? Who's in your life that's difficult to love? Or who are you supposed to reach out to and show Christ's love because you may be just the person God is sending?

God is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and of great kindness (Jonah 4:2). You may be just the one to deliver that message to someone today. Don't delay!

Interrupted

I'll admit it. I don't like interruptions. I like a schedule and I think everyone should keep to a schedule, but that is not real life. So I should've known that when I started a Bible study called Jonah -- Navigating a Life Interrupted, that life wouldn't be smooth sailing and go on as scheduled. Sometimes God chooses to interrupt the regularly scheduled programming...Priscilla Shirer calls these divine interventions.

So, life was pretty normal last week. I had my list of errands to run on Friday and we had a full and fun Saturday planned for the kids. And then about 10:30 Friday morning the school called, Matthew's in the office with a stomachache, headache, sore throat and he just threw up. We think he has strep. Please come get him.

And so, we head to the doctor. He has a severe ear infection in his right ear. Severe people. They start questioning me, when did this start, how long has he been complaining about pain and on and on. He has no fever. He hasn't once said that he didn't feel well. Even in the office, he's saying, my ear does not hurt. So they didn't even test for strep because his throat wasn't that red and the treatment is the same.

So we head home with the antibiotic. We get one dose in him and he gets sick again all over the kitchen floor. (I know you're thrilled to be reading these details). Our family rarely gets sick so when we do, we're pathetic. I still keep thinking, this is all related to the ear infection, etc. By Friday night, he's feeling great. He's on the Wii Fit for an hour and off to bed. At about 2 in the morning, I realized that this wasn't all related to the ear infection, that he did have a stomach virus on top of his ear infection, because this virus decided to visit me!

I climbed out of bed and headed to the downstairs couch. I spent some time just sleeping on the bathroom floor because I knew what was coming and my body just hurt too much to move from the couch to the bathroom. I was irritated because our Saturday was ruined and I felt crummy. I wanted to die. I know that sounds extreme, but I really am a huge wimp when it comes to pain. I don't know how a stomach in pain can affect your whole body like it does, but my entire body just ached.

And that's when the interruption hit, God reminded me of Africa. He reminded me to be thankful that I had a bathroom and a warm blanket as I lay on the couch shivering. He reminded me that I had access to stomach medicine and ibuprofen and crackers and sprite to help ease all the effects of this. He reminded me that I had a loving husband who still took the kids on part of our fun day even though I stayed at home in the bed. He reminded me that there are women all over the world...widows or just lonely women...who don't have someone else to take care of their children when they're sick. They don't have access to medicine or comfort and I wonder why. Why am I so blessed? Why are they not? And how ungrateful that I am that I can't endure 24 hours of suffering when they're enduring suffering day after day after day. And God reminded me to be loving and compassionate and to do whatever I can to help these women and children who are so vulnerable. He reminded me that He loves them as much as He loves me. He sees them in their distress. He has not forgotten them. He will not forsake them. He loves them with an everlasting love. And if I can't do anything else, I can go whenever I have the opportunity and tell them this.

Too Much of a Good Thing

I'll admit it. We are Fox News Junkies although our lives have been so busy lately, that we rarely ever watch Fox News. I just might be going through withdrawal.

You know that maybe you watch too much political TV when your 10 year old puts a sign on his door which tells you to knock before entering, but then at the bottom of the paper it says,

I am Stephen Jordan and I approve this message!

It made me laugh and smile and miss Fox News all at the same time!

Raw

So, you may be thinking that I'm going to talk about raw foods...which wouldn't be that unusual considering that Derek went to see Dr. Josh Axe...we may be eating a lot of raw foods around here soon. I'll let you know how that works out for us...thinking it'll last a few weeks. :-)

But really, it's my emotions that are raw this week. My friend Sumer was home from Africa for a few days and well, you don't really know how much you miss someone until you spend a couple of days with them. And then when you have to say good-bye yet again, well it hurts and it hurts deep. But I'm so thankful for Dr. Seuss, because I keep telling myself "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I'm so thankful for the friends in my life...those here and those in Africa.

And then it seems that everywhere I turn, someone is struggling in their marriage or they're already separated or divorced and it hurts my heart...it hurts to the core. And as I listen to the stories, it's overwhelming. I don't understand. I feel hopeless. It makes me thankful for my marriage, but that doesn't help my friends whose lives are falling apart.

And then I hear the news about a precious one in Ethiopia that commits suicide or newborn babies that are cold and don't have enough food and I just don't think I can handle any more bad news.

I find this...sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world, when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question. Anonymous

And then I start to wonder, how can the church help? Not just the local church, but the body of Christ...the church as a whole. What's my role in all of this? I don't know why He allows poverty, famine, injustice, heartache or broken marriages? But He is God and I am not and so I will pray to see what I can do since I'm part of the body of Christ. And I'll push through all of these raw emotions and I will stand firm on the verse that says, "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" and then I will work to only carry the burdens that He asks me to carry. The rest I will lay at His feet and trust Him to take care of them, because He is God and I am not.

Jordan Silliness

Well, it's been a long time. I've learned a lot in those 2 1/2 weeks that I've been absent from the blog world, but I'm not sure what the next blog post is supposed to be about just yet.

So for now, enjoy this silly picture of my kids.

The A-Team

After several trips, you just never know what kind of team you're going to get. Two team members had to cancel almost a week out from our departure date because of health reasons. And then we had two people join the trip less than a week out from departure. Those factors alone could've made for a disastrous trip. And Derek and I both knew it. One of the team members we added, we didn't even know at all. There was risk involved, but we prayed and hoped we made the right decision. And then we told everyone to be flexible. Derek and I planned to room together, but we had a plan in place in case any of the men or women proved to be troublesome...we would split up and room girls and guys and play peacemaker if necessary.

But we were pleasantly surprised. We hoped for the best, but had planned for the worst. God blessed us with an incredible team of people. I fell in love with everyone of them...some I knew well, some I didn't know at all.

We are the A-Team (August team)

Joel -- oh my goodness, Joel had me laughing before we got on the first plane from Nashville. And Joel and I both have an aversion to mornings...so when my dad and Derek (both morning people) were chatting, chatting, chatting on the way to the airport way too early in the morning, I think Joel and I both wanted to jump out of the van. When you're on a mission trip, you quickly learn who's the night owl and who's the early and happy riser. Joel and I are not the happy risers! Seriously though, Joel did an awesome job of leading worship for us during devotion time and he made us laugh all throughout the day and at night...sometimes until 3 in the morning.

Shan -- Wow. I didn't know Shan well before I traveled and let me just tell you, he is unwavering which is something to be admired. He was steady the entire week. Solid. Unshakeable. I enjoyed getting to know him and I appreciate his pharmaceutical knowledge and that he kept us all as healthy as possible. And he was a life saver with the cough drops on the last day because I had an extremely sore throat. I hope you're coming with Jonathan and me in March...you would be an asset to any team.

Dave -- he was one of our last minute additions. I didn't know him well, but I did know that he had a solid family. Here's the thing about Dave...he has a joke for everything. He will not disappoint as he can turn any conversation towards a joke. But on the other hand, he can offer some of the best advice on parenting that you could ever ask for. And the guy is incredibly smart. Those two things....good parenting and intelligence definitely qualify you to write a parenting book...and I would be the first one to buy a copy.

Travis -- I didn't really know Travis either. I love his mom, but didn't know much about him. I thought he'd be a good bodyguard but then his dad informed me that he's just a big teddy bear. And honestly watching 10 sponsored girls love on him...his dad told the truth. And Travis has a great laugh and he can sport an Ethiopian hat and look cool doing it.

Carrie W. -- I love Carrie's heart. She loves with every ounce of her being. She has a heart for lepers like no one else. Being able to watch that firsthand was a privilege for me. She pushed herself through all kinds of health issues and pain because of her love for Ethiopia. Incredible.

Sterling -- he was the wild card. Nobody knew him and we were hoping he wasn't crazy. God blessed. The team wouldn't have been the same without Sterling. He added an incredible dynamic to the team...he is honest and transparent and is willing to ask the tough questions. He is funny and thoughtful and caring and his mission trip experiences have only just begun. And he is the mafia!

Carrie C. -- I love Carrie. She's funny and sweet and a good friend. We went to Costa Rica together and she's just tough. She's a vet, but I trust her medical knowledge above just about anyone's. I seriously would've let Shan and Carrie do surgery on me if I needed it while in Ethiopia. :-)

Kim --it's always fun to go with someone on a first time trip. It has the potential to get messy, especially a trip to Africa, but Kim did great. Kim gives everything 100% even when she doesn't feel well. She loved with complete abandon and is an awesome English teacher. I am so thankful my sweet friend went with us.

Matt -- Matt is the mafia as well (Matt's responsible for introducing the game to the team!). Sterling and Matt...guilty for sure! Matt is funny and Matt and Joel are funny together. Matt is an awesome artist when you're teaching English to six, seven and eight year olds. Above anything else I could say, he's a good friend. Just watching Corey and Matt together was great. A true friend sticks closer than a brother and I got to witness that first hand and it encouraged me to make sure that I'm a good friend to those God has placed in my path.

Derek -- well, I just love him and I love him more after watching him with our sponsored boy, Yasen. And watching him balance a team and an emotional wife at the same time and do it all well. Derek is steady eddie and he just like Shan is unwavering. Honestly, he's exactly what I need...both in the US and in Africa.

And that's our team and I love each one of them. God takes the work of the ministry and knits hearts together while believers are "doing the work". Each team member impacted me in a different way and I am incredibly blessed to have been a part of the A-Team.

Is the Cost Too Great?

Just being honest in this post....Derek reminded me tonight that I'm more truth than grace (see John 1:14...Jesus was full of both)

Sometimes I do look around and think to myself and maybe even say to God, "Really, that just seems like you're asking too much?"

For example,
When parents are faced with losing a very young child...the cost is great.
When a close friend has the second miscarriage in a row...the cost is great.
When our pastor and his wife have to walk an incredibly difficult road...the cost is great.
When a couple that desperately wants just one baby cannot get pregnant...the cost is great.
When a friend has been without a job for a very, very long time...the cost is great.
When you to choose to follow God and everything seems to be going wrong...the cost is great.
When young children lose a parent or both parents...the cost is great.

Sometimes I just think, it's too much. Why do they have to endure such heartache and pain? Sometimes it's God, sometime's it's the enemy sifting a family like wheat...but God allows it. He promises that we will never endure a trial without the way of escape. He promises that He is faithful even when we are faithless. And I believe that He never wastes a hurt.

Aiden's story....I met Aiden while in Africa. She's probably 19 years old and she stole my heart when she shared her story. She's all alone. She lost her mother when she was 7 or so. Then she lost her father when she was 9 or so. She lived with her grandparents, but now they're gone as well. She has no one...literally no one. But we sat on her bed and she said, "I know that God has a plan and that there's a reason that He's left me all alone."

Honestly, I'm rarely at a loss for words, but I didn't know what to say. My mind said, "Yes, there's a reason and a purpose". My heart screamed, "God this is too much to demand of a person." She has no one...no family or at least no family that's willing to help her. So instead she stays at the shelter thanks to Project 61 and Great Hope Church. And I am forever changed because of a young women that despite her circumstances is trusting God and believing that God has a plan. I don't know that I'd have the same response or the same faith or even be able to pull myself out of the bed in the morning having endured such heartache. I'm praying big things over her life. I am trusting that God has a great big plan that brings Himself incredible glory! I hope I get to see it all unfold. If not, I'll ask someone in heaven to find Aiden so I can hear the rest of the story. Because I know and believe that God really does have a plan for why He's left her all alone.

Lord, please take what Satan meant for evil and turn it into something good and beautiful that brings You glory!

Love Is Messy

I was trying to go to sleep last night and my mind kept drifting back to Africa. I've been in a pit/funk/mood...whatever you want to call it since I've been home (poor Derek and the kids...they just might disown me or send me to a hotel!) It is completely normal to have this "post mission trip depression", but this time it seemed much worse, because I left a dear friend in Ethiopia. And honestly, each time I go, another little part of my heart stays and it just hurts to get on that plane and come home.

But some other things happened this trip, that just made it even more difficult to leave Ethiopia. I met our sponsored child in March when he went with us to check out the boarding school. He's quiet and artistic and has a very pleasant personality. (So much of this culture is violent and dramatic and he is everything, but those things....love is blind!) Anyway, I was so excited for Derek to meet him. The first day Yasen kind of stayed by my side. After that, he really warmed up to Derek. There were five separate English classes and the Lord worked it out where Derek was Yasen's teacher. I do believe that this was God ordained. Yasen and Derek had a fabulous week together. At one point, Yasen asked if he could come back and stay at the guest house because he didn't have a bed. It warms my heart to know that soon...he will have a bed at boarding school. He also told me he was hungry and I'm sure he was...soon, he will have three meals a day.

His father showed up at the church one day and told us, "I give you my son. He is now your responsibility". Derek and I worked to clear this up very quickly. Yasen has a mother and father and a twin sister. We are not looking to disrupt his family situation. We just are willing to give him an opportunity for a good education. We explained this to his father through the interpreter and Derek told him that he still needed a father to guide him and direct him, etc. I was all tongue tied...I don't think I said anything. His father then went on to tell us that he is Muslim and that he is being persecuted because he is sending his son to a Christian school. He told us that it was a good opportunity for him and that's why he was willing to endure the persecution.



Wow...love is messy. This father obviously loves his son. Love is messy, because life would just be simpler if I didn't know...if I hadn't ever gone...if I didn't want to go back..... But I do know....I did go...and I do want to go back. There are risks involved with love...there are prices to be paid. God gave His only Son that Derek and Alicia and Stephen and Matthew and Elizabeth and Yasen and Yasen's father and mother and sister might have eternal life. Yes, it's messy. Everything isn't perfect...there are things to work through, but hope is alive in Ethiopia. God is proving Himself mighty and I believe that Yasen and his family are just a small part of the storyline. I'm thankful that I get to watch our God do great and mighty things!!

Love Well

I'm starting with the hardest post first...goodbyes. It's always fun to go. It's always hard to leave. On our last day in Ethiopia, Derek said something about how hard it is to say good-bye, but that it's never a reason not to go in the first place or to not come back. Sometimes the good-byes hurt so deeply that it makes me think I don't want to go back, because I don't want to have to say good-bye again.

First, it was saying good-bye to our sweet sponsored boy, Yasen. He fell apart to say the least. He basically cried most of the day on Friday. It ripped our hearts apart.



And then I had to say good-bye to one of my dearest friends. Matt, Derek and I had stopped by their house on Saturday to get some last minute video footage and she had planned to not come to the airport. So we circled up and prayed and I started crying about two seconds into the prayer. Corey and Sumer's oldest son Caleb said, "Ms. Alicia, why are you crying?" during the middle of the prayer. I giggled, but just went right back to crying. I must've been quite the sight because Caleb was quite concerned about my crying and even mentioned it on the way to the airpot a few hours later. So Sumer and I hugged for a long time and cried in each other's arms. It was horrible. I will forever remember what my sweet friend Kathleen always says though. If you hurt deeply, it means you have loved well. And so I must've loved really well because I could feel the hurt in every fiber of my being. I can barely see now because of the tears in my eyes. And if one good-bye wasn't enough, Sumer decided to stop by the guest house later that day and we had to do it all over again. And it hurt just as much the second time
around.


But I would do it again and again. My challenge to you is to love well. If you say good-bye and don't hurt deeply, then have you truly loved? My friend Sumer and every friend I have is worth every tear that falls when I have to walk away and say good-bye.

Change

You may think this is about all the change that we counted this weekend for VBS, but it's not! Our preschool VBS raised over $1500 through a build-a-bed change offering for Sweet Sleep...more about that in another post.

It's about the change in my life. I've worked for our church for the last several years. First, I worked in women's ministry and learned lots of things and then I transitioned over to preschool ministry. I'm an administrator...it's one of my spiritual gifts although many times I wish it wasn't. I like to organize things and get things running smoothly. I have a logisitical mind and I can tell you why something won't work or what will make it work more effectively. With that sometimes comes a critical spirit, because I can see everything that needs to be fixed. And so, I expected that when I went to work for my friend Angela aka Big Nanny, that there would be conflict. Surprising, God knit our hearts together and I believe we accomplished much for His kingdom. I had the honor and privilege to work alongside a very sweet friend. And we rarely had conflict! And in the process of working in preschool ministry, God gave me many other sweet friends along the way. I won't name them because I would be sure to leave someone out, but you probably know who you are.

And all along God was stirring in me a heart for missions. And so Sumer, Angela, Tabby, Jesse and I headed to Africa last December with Visiting Orphans. And then God gave me an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. I wanted to say yes and I wanted to say no. I didn't want to leave my friends at TSC, but I knew that my passion was for missions and orphans and those that desperately need the love of a Savior. I am willing to go. I am willing to serve, but it's not without cost. Every step of obedience involves some level of sacrifice. My friend Sumer moved to Africa...heartbreaking and yet exciting all at the same time. Sacrifice. I am walking away from a job I absolutely love. Sacrifice. I love Angela, I love the TSC staff, I love those sweet preschoolers and their precious smiles, I love the preschool moms and dads, I love the preschool teachers, oh how I have grown to love each one of them. And yet, God has asked me to say good-bye to this season of my life. I am walking away from what is comfortable and what I love....casual dinners to discuss preschool ministry, pedicures to discuss preschool ministry, trips to Atlanta for preschool conferences and hot dogs at the Varsity (NOT!), a fun and loving staff, etc. But I know that on the other side of sacrifice and obedience is great blessing. I already love working for VO. I have already made new friends and I'm sure I'll make many more. All because God asked me to take a step of faith and walk in new territory.

And just in case you wondered, He had a plan all along. Ashley C. took Sumer's position and Kim P. took mine. They were made for the ministry. They are two incredible women and preschool ministry at TSC has new energy and excitement because of them.

Ashley, Angela, Alicia, Kim

And so, that's the change in my life. And Angela and me, well, I'm sure God has a new season of friendship for us. We were walking partners for awhile and then partners in ministry and who knows what's next. The Lord knows and I trust Him with all of me!

Thanks for all the sweet memories, TSC Preschool! It has been an incredibly fun season of my life! This post was written through tears...shocking I know.

He Sees Each Tear That Falls

He puts them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). What a tender God we serve!

There are two little children that captured my heart and God won't let me forget my short time with them. I think of them often. I pray for them when they come to my mind...just like Joel and Yasin and Alexis and Keoshira and Carolina and the many more. They are faces in my mind and places in my heart that have been forever changed because of the touch they've had on my life.

This story I don't even want to write....I don't want to think about it, but these two children are in my heart and I think about them every day since I've been home.

The father that should be protecting this sweet six year old little girl has instead chosen to do things that I can't even mention. She is a timid girl...she hardly even spoke...I rarely saw her smile. She cried, really she sobbed for her mother one day when we were leaving. Honestly what little girl wouldn't want her mommy...the only mommy she's ever known. I just kept thinking that as those tears fell...the Lord knows and the Lord sees and He's catching these tears. My heart was being ripped in two because I knew her story. I knew why she was timid...I knew why she said very little and I knew why she didn't smile and giggle like some of the other girls. She missed the fun beach day because she had to go to a forensic medical appointment. Frustrating...no six year old girl should have to endure that. I wanted to bring her home and let her have a daddy that adores her and loves her and protects her. A daddy who would teach her about a loving, heavenly Father that has immeasurable love for her. And yet, I had to walk away and it was hard, very hard.

And after further investigation, they decided that the home wasn't a safe place for her brother either. And this one captured my heart with his long eyelashes, his playful spirit, his incredible smile and the large scar on his cheek that probably has a story of it's own. The evil in this world sometimes seems almost too much to bear, especially evil against children. But then I remember that the victory is already won. Good beats evil and the enemy has been defeated. The day of vengeance will come. There is a Judge of this earth and people will give account.
And the God that I serve can do exceeding abundantly in the lives of two precious children whose lives have been overturned. There isn't a mountain that our God can't move and I trust and believe that He has great things for Adela and Marvin.

He Knows Their Name

Every time I go on a mission trip, something different pulls at my heart. Sometimes different things hit me on different days.

Day 1 at Coco's and we were all introducing ourselves in Spanish which is funny in itself if you've ever heard me try to speak Spanish. :-) One of the tias said that this baby was 7 months old and she didn't have a name. Obviously, that did not go over well. We also thought that there was no way possible that this baby was 7 months old because my babies were bigger than this little one when they were newborns. Brian asked a few more questions and they held to their 7 month old status.

It bothered me all day and all night that this sweet little one didn't have a name. I guess they are waiting on the mom who is addicted to drugs to either name the baby or the government would name the baby. I wanted to tell the tias (nannies) to just name the baby. She needs to be loved on and she is an individual created by an Almighty God. But unfortunately, the relationship is not there for me to say anything and so I just prayed for God to be near to this sweet one.

After some further questions, we found out that the baby was born at 7 months and was now one month old. Gwen decided from the very beginning that this sweet baby was her assignment. I don't even think I held her for more than 5 minutes because she was almost always in Gwen's arms, which is incredibly sweet! Amazing how the Lord moves different people to different assignments.

And every day when I saw this little one, all I could think of is the song that says "He knows my name....He knows my every thought....He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call..." And that's about the only thing that brought me comfort regarding this situation. I know that the Lord is all knowing and all seeing and I trust that He'll intervene on this sweet precious little girl's behalf. All the days ordained for her were written in His book before there was yet one of them.

What $80 Can Do

It can bring some big smiles to some kids in Costa Rica who desperately needed some swings for their swing set.


And these faces are why we go....they are loved and cherished by our heavenly Father. God has great plans and a purpose for their lives. They are wonderfully and uniquely made and are worthy to be loved and how they desperately need to be loved. These faces bring sweet memories to my mind!

Amazing What A Little Paint Can Do

All is well in Costa Rica. I have a gecko living in my room...at least he joined me his morning and is making all kinds of noise. I prefer him over the very large roach that our team saw last night.

It was a little cooler yesterday and we were able to seal the cement walls and then get them painted at the orphanage. The team that comes in on this Saturday will paint a mural on one of the walls. The difference a little paint can make is unbelievable. The kids pitched in and helped and the team endured the heat, worked hard and even painted in the rain. We also fixed the seesaw, a gaping hole in the swing set, and one of the swings. The next team will bring hinges to attach a second swing. As soon as those things got fixed, the kids immediately started playing on the swing set again. That made us all happy.

THE BEFORE: We scrubbed these walls with wire scrub brushes trying to get the mold, mildew and other various fungus off the walls.




MIDWAY: The white sealer even made a difference. These are kids that helped us paint.




THE END RESULT:

And this is the little boy that captured my heart...it happens every time. He just came to the house today, a sad story that I can't even type out at this point.

Making an Invisible God Visible

It's a quote from Kay Warren's book, Dangerous Surrender (a great read).


It's Sumer's heart cry for the orphans in Ethiopia. It's my heart cry for people all around the world, even for my very own children.


We were at the beach and Stephen found a sand dollar on Shell Island. It was perfectly intact, not broken at all. It was something to be treasured. I remembered my dad finding those for me when I was a kid. They really are beautiful.


We brought the shells and the sand dollar back to the room and a certain sibling broke the sand dollar. They are delicate. Stephen was devastated to say the least and those of you that know Stephen well know that he doesn't just snap out of it quickly. As we were driving to dinner and the subject of the broken sand dollar came up yet again, I told everyone that we would just pray that we would find a sand dollar the next day. To which a frustrated Stephen said, "I've prayed about a lot of things and God doesn't answer." (Don't you just feel that way sometimes?) I prayed that we would indeed find a sand dollar the next day. As we were taking the boat to Shell Island, I was pleading with the Lord that He would answer Stephen's prayer. My cynical side thought, "it's just a sand dollar, what's the big deal? Does God really care about sand dollars?" You know what, I think He does. I think He wants to make Himself visible. I think He does it all the time and we just ignore it or pass it up as coincidence.


Within 5-10 minutes, Stephen had found a sand dollar. I was praising the Lord! He set it down by our bag, but then the bag got moved by a different sibling than the previous sand dollar fiasco. Do you know how hard it is to remember where exactly that bag was on the beach so that you can locate the sand dollar? It's hard, let me just say. We never did find that stack of shells. I started praying fervently that we would find another sand dollar and we did...we found several more and a shark tooth. You know why, because He did exceeding abudantly above all that we could ask or think. He does it all the time.


He makes Himself visible to us. Don't miss Him! And when you see Him, give Him the glory. He is worthy!


This is my centerpiece on my kitchen table. An African bowl with five sanddollars. It reminds me to pray for Africa...that they would see God for who He really is and the sand dollars remind me to praise Him that He alone is God and He hears our prayers even when we pray for a sand dollar!

Most of you know that I'm working two part time jobs and whew, it's crazy. That's a blog post for another day.

We had wanted to go to the beach, but decided to scrap it once the oil spill happened and then it seemed like it was taking forever for the oil to hit the beach, so I kept thinking maybe we can squeeze in a quick trip to the beach. My hubby is awesome and reworked his schedule so that we could get away for a few days.

We were going to go to his hometown, Pensacola Beach, but then they did find some tar balls on the beach and I just wasn't that excited about getting in the water if there was a possiblity of oil in it. And so we canceled our reservations and went to Panama City Beach.

It was beautiful and wonderful and relaxing. The sound of the ocean and the beauty of the water brings renewal and refreshment to my weary self. Eating outside breathing that fresh beach air...I love it! The white sand, oh how I love the white sand at the Gulf beaches. The water was 82 degrees warm...wonderful! The waves were fairly calm and there were very few jellyfish. I got sunburnt, we all had sand in our bathing suits when we returned to the hotel, but it's a wonderful place to be. Africa and the beach...probably my two favorite spots in the world.

I usually come home from Africa and say to Derek, "Let's just sell everything and move to Africa." On the last day of our short beach trip, I said, "Let's just sell everything and move to the beach." But the Lord is not calling us to move to either place, so we'll just be content in our sweet state of Tennessee.

Oh Happy Day!

Elizabeth and my dad were both baptized on Sunday! My dad decided a couple of years ago that he wanted to rededicate his life and he waited to get baptized with his only granddaughter. It was a very special day. I almost put a baptismal robe on and joined in on the fun! :-)

The pictures tell the story better than I could ever put into words. Thank you to PT for making it a special day for dad and Elizabeth!

Elizabeth's best friend MC stood by the baptismal with me and watched Elizabeth get baptized.


Telling everyone he loves Jesus!


And he's down...

And he almost went down a second time....Tom had to use lots of arm muscle to pull dad out of the water! :-)


Elizabeth was next. She wasn't nervous until she either saw all the people in the worship center or thought PT wasn't going to get Papa out of the water...not sure which one. I think PT could tell that she was getting nervous and didn't linger...down she went and back up again with her feet coming out of the water (she was completely immersed at one point for you sticklers!)

And what a day that will be when my Jesus we will see!! We serve an awesome God!