Conflicting Emotions

Romans 12...it's one of my favorite passages of Scripture.

And this week, verse 15 was lived out on the very same day.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

One friend received awesome adoption news and so the rejoicing began.
One friend suddenly lost her husband and so the weeping began.

I had such conflicting emotions that day. On one hand, so excited for our friends. On the other hand, heartbroken for my other friend. I kind of didn't know what to do with myself.

God is enough. God is sufficient.

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:5-8

And while my emotions are conflicted, God's are not. May He be our rock in the times of rejoicing and the times of weeping.

Sweet Weekend Kisses

I call them "sweet kisses from God". Those things that show up in my life and remind me that God does hear our prayers and He is involved in the intimate details of our lives.

God has been showing off a lot the last week. I started the Believing God Bible study by Beth Moore (2nd time for me), but this time I'm believing God with an even deeper level of faith.

And so...here are just a few ways God kissed me the past few days.

1. I sent a verse to a friend to encourage her. In some ways, it was an odd verse...out of Daniel, but God impressed it on my heart as I was praying for her and so I sent it. She had just that morning written that very verse on an index card to meditate on throughout the day. Of all the verses in the Bible, God brought two friends to the exact same verse. He is so cool.

2. We're saving for an adoption...you know that. But sometimes God just gives you opportunities to bless someone else and so we did. It doesn't make sense according to the world's standards. The world says we should be holding our money tightly. But we obeyed God and He blessed us back more than double what we had given. He is so good.

3. There is someone I love dearly in Ethiopia, her name is Eden. I think of her and pray for her often. Almost every morning I buy an unsweet tea at McDonald's. Several times a week there is a girl named Eden that hands me the tea. Every time I see her nametag, I drive away praying for another Eden who's not close enough for me to hug. He is so faithful.

4. Parenting is hard. Sometimes Derek and I just feel like we're failing miserably as parents. Parenting adopted children adds a different element as well. I don't know if it's harder or not because we don't have biological children, but our house is constantly filled with conversations about adoption, birthparents, etc. And so when you get a card like this from your precious daughter, it can't be anything but a sweet kiss from God.

God amazes me. He sends me those sweet kisses just to remind me to keep doing what's right. To keep looking for those opportunities to bless others. He reminds me that He's all about people and not things. "All that is not eternal is eternally useless." C.S. Lewis

People are eternal, things are not. Let's invest our lives in people and not things and I just know that God will send you plenty of sweet kisses along the way.

Gratitude List

So, we had one of our children make a gratitude list. 25 things. You'll notice that two important people were left off the list. I guess when you make your child list 25 things that they're thankful for, you should expect to be left off the list. Maybe my feelings should be hurt that utensils and paper made the list, but mom and dad didn't. This is real life in our household...our kids think we're mean. :)

Sometimes They Do Listen

You know how it is...you bring your children to church service and sometimes they seem like they're not even listening. Sometimes I just end up frustrated during the service because I spend my time telling them to get their feet of the chair, to stop writing on the offering envelopes, to stop fidgeting so much...it's a distraction to everyone around us, etc.

And then on the way home from church, I hear Matthew telling Elizabeth about the man who had demons and how he was chained up and no one cared for him. But Jesus released the demons from him and threw them into the pigs and the pigs drowned. And then I look over and see this on my daughter's notebook page. This is simply reaping what has been sown into her life...not just by us as parents, but by a church that loves the Bible and loves Jesus. And I'm just thankful and I pray that they "get it" down to the deepest parts of their hearts. Because if you really "get it", then your life is different and then you can be salt and light to a world that desperately needs a Savior!

How Are You?

I was waiting at the school to have lunch with Matthew. I sat down next to a mom I didn't know who was also waiting for her child to come to lunch.

I asked the polite question, "How are you?"

She hesitated for just a second, sighed and with an accent said, "I am tired".

Honestly, she caught me so off guard I didn't even know what to say. People always respond with I'm fine, I'm good, Better than I deserve or something like that.

This woman had been honest. I didn't know what to do with that. And in that moment...I was back in Ethiopia or any other culture across the world. Why? Because this woman wasn't born and raised in the US. She didn't know that you're supposed to say "I'm fine" or "I'm good" even when you're not. I remember having this very conversation with my host mom in Germany. In Germany, they don't just quickly ask you how you are and then keep walking on by. They stop and they listen and they really want to know how you're doing. At least they did in the small town of Zulpich, Germany.

And on that day when I thought I was just meeting Matthew for lunch, I learned something at my son's school. I'm too busy if I don't have the time to stop and really find out how someone's doing. And I'm too busy if I don't have the time to stop and tell someone that I'm really struggling with this or that and I'd really appreciate their prayers. And I'm too busy if I'm just asking "how are you?" out of good manners or obligation, not really willing to invest in the one that I'm asking. And we're just lying when we say "i'm fine" when life is really crumbling all around us.

I read this on facebook today and it penetrated to my heart. It was a reminder to me that people matter and how they are doing matters too.

Have you considered the multigenerational impact of Jesus pouring His life into 12 people? Imagine the fruit if you were to do the same! Dave Buehring