A Bleeding Heart

I cried my way through a book called "It's Not Okay With Me" by Janine Maxwell. On the back of the book it says, "This book is not for the faint of heart." and it's really not. I cried through the book and then cried at night and then cried on the way to work. And if you know me well, you know that I'm not always a cry baby. But the evil in this world...the evil that is done to children, wow...it ripped at my heart. My heart bleeds and may never be the same, but that is okay with me. I've prayed for God to give me His heart. I think He gave me just a tiny glimpse and it hurts. How deeply grieved our Heavenly Father must be as He looks at the evil in this world.

Why would I read a book that is so heart wrenching and gives details about the atrocities done to children? Because it reminds me that as Christians we need to do something. Instead of getting distracted by the cares of this world that have no eternal value, we need to bring hope to the hopeless. We need to bring Christ to those who have never heard. We need to be the mother and father to these children that tragically lost their parents because of AIDS or malaria or starvation.

I don't know what that looks like in your life or mine. I'm not about to tell you what it looks like. I'm on a journey (I guess my family is on a journey) and I don't know the final destination. I know part of it is going as often as possible. Part of it is working for an organization that sends teams to be the hands and feet of Jesus (Check us out--Visiting Orphans) Part of it is paying for Yasen to go to school in Ethiopia. Part of it is paying for Sandra to have proper care at an orphanage in Nicaragua. Part of it is giving to great organizations that provide mosquito nets and water and food to those desperately in need. Part of it is praying. Praying for those we sponsor and praying for those that I don't even know who are just about to lose hope. Praying for the girls that are being abused today. Praying for the little ones that are watching their mother die. Praying for the girl that is willing to sell herself just so she has some food to eat today. Lord, I beg you to intervene on their behalf. How selfish my prayers have been focusing on myself and things that really don't matter in comparison to these tragedies.

And so, I've decided after reading this book that it's not okay with me. The evil in this world makes me angry. I have a holy frustration...a frustration that I can't forget, that I won't forget and that is determined to do something...for one child, for two, for three...whatever it takes...whatever that looks like in my life.

Janine talks about how we can become overwhelmed by the numbers, but giving one hope is enough if that's what God is calling you to do. "If it's not enough, then do more. If you can't do more, then stop making yourself crazy."

And I stand in agreement with Janine that this would be my message to those in Africa "It's not okay with me anymore that your children are dying in front of you from hunger, and that you are naked and that your husband died of AIDS. It is just not okay with me! And I am going to do something about it."

What about you?