Day 1 with Abigail

Our travel to Ethiopia began on Saturday.  We were very blessed to have our friend and P61 board member Erin traveling with us.  We overnighted in DC and then left for Ethiopia on Sunday morning.  There was actually another person sitting next to me and Erin was across the aisle.  After several short conversations between Erin and me, he realized that he wouldn't have a quiet, peaceful flight with these two chatty women, so he offered to move.  :)  It is always best to sit next to your friends or family on a 12 hour flight.

We arrived in Ethiopia on Monday morning.  We showered, had lunch and then headed to the orphanage around 3 pm.  Honestly, my expectations were pretty low.  When Derek and I visited the orphanage on two previous trips, Abigail seemed pretty timid.  She had smiled for Derek once and spoken just a few words.  When I was there, she never smiled and actually cried quite loudly one of the days I visited.  And so, I never imagined that she would come running and jump into our arms and thank us for finally coming back for her.  Instead, I think the way things went down is pretty much what I thought would happen.  I thought either she'll be scared to death and won't talk for days or she'll just scream.  She chose to scream!

I had already processed that this could potentially be a traumatic day for this 2 1/2 yr. old.  She was leaving everything she had ever known and how did she know if she could trust us?  And how could you ever explain to a 2 1/2 year old that everything was going to be okay?

They brought Abigail down from upstairs and as soon as we started talking to her, the tears started to come.  The orphanage had several ceremonies they wanted to do and she screamed through almost all of it.   This is a picture of the "cutting of the cake".  She loved this nanny a whole lot.  She held on to her for dear life when they tried to place Abigail in our arms.  It was heartbreaking, but also encouraging that our sweet daughter had such deep love for this nanny.

And then there's this picture.  I sang, I kissed her, I whispered in her ear, I just kept telling her that it was going to be okay, but she wanted nothing of it.  She cried for almost 2 hours straight that day. Poor sweet girl.

It was just a reminder to me of the complexities of adoption.  There is great joy for the one receiving the child.  There is great grief for the one placing the child or giving the child into the arms of another.  And then the grief for the precious child that is losing everything that they have ever known to gain the unknown.  God gave me a heart of compassion that Monday.  I wasn't frustrated with her, just sad for her.  Her little heart was breaking.  

But I knew that God promised that He would turn our mourning into dancing....and I knew that someday, her mourning would turn to dancing too!