Seeking Approval

So it's been an interesting couple of weeks around our house. I have been listening to a sermon series on family. I quickly realized that I still have much to learn when it comes to parenting and probably life in general for that matter.

One of the messages was entitled "blessing" and it references John Trent's and Gary Smalley's book called The Blessing. It talks about how everyone desires "the blessing" from their parents and others. I stink at "giving blessing". Words of affirmation...not my love language in the least. And so God gave me at least one child possibly two, that crave "words of affirmation". Isn't that just like God to make my life a little difficult? To give me children who don't think like me and don't receive love in the same way that I do. I can buy you some gifts like you wouldn't believe. I can serve up some acts of service...if you need words of affirmation...I'm terrible...in both written and verbal form, I flat out don't have that gift.

Deep down, I have a people pleaser mentality. Most people probably do. I want my kids to like me and my friends to like me and just people in general to like me. But sometimes God calls us to do difficult things which might in fact make people not like me. My children would probably like to hit the dislike button at least once a day. Parenting is tough. It's not for the faint of heart...especially if your kids are 10, 9 and 8 and very opinionated. God had me camping out on this verse the other morning.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
I tried to push it out of my mind, but He just kept putting it in there over and over again until I submitted and agreed that I am a servant of Christ and that means that I shouldn't seek the approval of men.

And then the test came....I went to the kids' school on Thursday for their Thanksgiving lunch. Elizabeth was so excited to have me there. Matthew was excited to have me there. Stephen not so much. He gave me a little wave as he was getting in line for lunch. He picked up his lunch and then disappeared. I didn't know where he had gone. I had saved him a seat to sit by Matthew and me. He was nowhere in the cafeteria to be found. He was gone. I debated...do I go find him or do I just leave it alone? I really thought that no matter what decision I made, it'd be the wrong one. He's probably complain about whatever I decided to do. I asked my friends Jerry and Leigh..what do you think? Jerry gave me some wise words, he said, "You let it ride. Right now he doesn't care that you're here, but in 20 years, he'll remember that you were" And so I left it alone and Stephen didn't say anything about it when he got in the van that day. I asked him why he didn't sit by me and he told me that he wanted to sit with his friends. I could've given the lecture about how he gets to sit with his friends every day and that I took time out of my day to come and have lunch with him. Didn't he know that I had other things I could be doing....blah, blah, blah. But I didn't, I just said okay. My feelings were hurt ... just a tiny bit. I have some pretty thick skin, but it was a reminder of two things

1. I shouldn't be seeking the approval of man (my kids)
2. Stephen is growing up....ugh, that one is hard to write.

I love him just as much even though he didn't want to have Thanksgiving lunch with me.