Pig Latin Anyone?

Matthew decides to tell his teacher last night at church that he's allergic to milk after he's had two pieces of pizza. I think it about sent the teacher and some other students into a panic. For the record, he's not allergic to milk--just a little lactose intolerant. We tried to explain the big difference to him last night, but not sure he completely comprehended. He's all about getting some attention.

He told his Sunday School teachers that he speaks Latin. "Speak" might be a strong word. He does know some Latin--way more than I do for the record. They learn Latin at school. Anyway, his teacher asked him if he knew pig latin and Matthew told them, "No way, that's a college course". Did anyone take that in college?

His 2nd grade teacher told me on Wednesday that we needed to work on measuring with a ruler and drawing a straight line. Start at the dot, draw a line that's 6 inches, etc. Derek said, "He knows how to do that". Well obviously he didn't in class, because his teacher said something to me about it. After Derek talked to Matthew about it and Matthew successfully did it several times, Matthew said, "I was just messing with her". I'm going to mess with him if you know what I mean.

Nobody makes me laugh more than Matthew. His smile just melts my heart. His tenacity and perseverance exhausts me most days, but he'll make a great salesman or preacher some day. He's not lacking in self-confidence and always wants to be the center of attention. I praise the Lord because Matthew is fearfully and wonderfully made. Pray that Derek and I will have some patience "refining these gifts" in Matthew's life. I trust that God has big things in store for him.

Compassion and Enough

Compassion

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Late Latin; Anglo-French, from Late Latin compassion-, compassio, from compati to sympathize, from Latin com- + pati to bear, suffer ---more at patient

Date: 14th century

:sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Do you see the word patient used in the etymology? If you know me well, you probably know that I don't have a lot of patience and probably not a lot of compassion either. I always score very low on the spiritual gift tests/surveys in the area of mercy. It's not my gift, but that doesn't excuse me from the responsibility. We are called to have mercy and to show compassion.

It doesn't always come easy for me. Just ask my kids. When one of them says, "That's not fair.", I usually tell them, "You're right. It's not fair. But life isn't fair. You might as well learn that early." I also tell them, "Life is hard, but God is good." Honesty, that's my policy. Life really is hard, but even in the midst of hardship and/or heartache, God is still good. He doesn't change.

Since we've had children, you'll be happy to know that my mercy meter has increased some. I do score somewhat better in the area of mercy than I did pre-children. However, I'm not ranking high in the mercy area. That is why it is all the more shocking to me that my heart breaks for the orphans of the world. The lack of the basic necessities of life just rips at my heart. No shoes, no food, no clean water, no mom and dad to kiss them good night. Just thinking about it now puts a pit in my stomach. I'll be honest though, I struggle with what to do with all of this. Derek reminds me that even if we sold everything and gave it all away, it wouldn't even put a dent in things. "The poor will always be with you". There's the logical side speaking.

However we can't just walk away and do nothing either. We might not make a dent in poverty, but how we could change a child's life and a family's life and even the course of a generation if we decided to get radical and start saying no to things that we want and yes to helping those less fortunate. I love Brighton jewelry, I love Vera Bradley, I love shoes and Yellow Box flip flops, I love Gymboree. But honestly when I think about paying $90 for a new Brighton watch or a new Vera bag, I don't think I can justify my love. I don't need anything of those things. I have enough. I'm buying to satisfy something that really can't be satisfied. I'll just want more. Bigger and better...that's the American way.

The opposite of poverty is not wealth. The opposite of povery is enough. I have enough. Do you have enough? If you have more than enough like me, then I think it's our responsibility to help those who don't have enough. They don't have shoes, they don't have clean water, they don't have sometimes even one meal a day, they don't have a mommy or a daddy or a warm blanket on a cold night.

This is just another reason that I'm going to Africa. I have enough. I need to pour out of my abundance, both spiritually and materially. I can leave my shoes and clothes in Africa because I have enough here that will be waiting in my closet for when I return. I can go without the luxury of three meals a day while I'm in Africa, because I have enough here.

I hope you'll pray and see if you have more than enough. I know you'll see that you do. What is God calling you to do? Maybe sponsor a child through Compassion. Maybe give to your local food pantry or volunteer at the Rescue Mission. Maybe you need to go on a mission trip and share from your abundance. Maybe you just need to start serving in your church on a regular basis.

I'm hear to testify that if you're not fulfilled spiritually, you're not pouring out. Give out of your abundance. I promise you won't be disappointed.


Psalm 103
Bless the Lord, O my soul and forget none of His benefits...who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion...The LORD is compassionate and gracious....Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him.

Everything or Nothing At All

Sometimes my children are so ungrateful. We sometimes make them list 5 things they are thankful for. Yesterday morning I made one of our children list 10 things--he couldn't come up with ten. He was being stubborn because he didn't get his way that morning. God reminded me in that moment, "Count your blessings, name them one by one". Sometimes I am just as stubborn. It seems that the more we get the more we want. The flesh is never satisfied and God created us so that any void in our life can only be filled through Him.

I love to worship with the Africans. They worship God well. They worship a God who has saved them from the pit of hell. They serve a God who gives them hope. They serve a God who supplies their needs, who comforts them when they mourn, who is a very present help in time of trouble. They worship with everything in them because they serve a God who has changed their lives.

If your faith hasn't changed you, your faith hasn't saved you. James MacDonald

I'm not the same as I was 5 years ago or last year for that matter. I feel like my life is an onion and God just keeps peeling back one layer at a time. He shows me one thing and I get that resolved or under control and He says, "Oh, let me peel back the next layer. Do you see that? We need to work on that now." If He peeled the whole onion at once, well, I'd just cry like I do when I chop a whole onion. :-)

Around 50% of the world lives on less than $2 a day. If you make $4,000 a month, you automatically make one hundred times more than the average person on this planet. Which is more messed up--that we have so much compared to everyone else, or that we don't think we're rich? That on any given day we might flippantly call ourselves "broke" or "poor"? We are neither of those things. We are rich. Filthy rich. Francis Chan

It seems in American that we have everything and in having everything, sometimes I think we have nothing. We aren't desperate for the Lord. We aren't dependent on Him. We don't find our security or satisfaction in Him. We're living the American dream...a bigger bank account, a better car, a bigger house, a nicer wardrobe, the newest shoes, the latest purse, an exotic vacation, my list could go on and on. Do any of these things satisfy? Absolutely not. How often do we run to God crying out for help? Rarely because instead of trusting Him to supply our needs, we trust our savings account or Mastercard and Visa.

I love shoes. If I find a comfortable pair, I'll keep them for a long time. This image below began to soften my heart for the poor and for the orphan. It made me ashamed that I will so quickly buy another pair of shoes or flip flops without thinking about those around the world who don't even own one pair of shoes.


And this picture I took myself July 2008. It was shoe day and we were about to give 1000 orphans each a brand new pair of socks and shoes. They take their beat up or mismatched pair home in a grocery bag because for many of them, they borrowed a pair of shoes to be able to come to camp. Once again, it made me sad to think about the things I waste my money on. Things that have absolutely no eternal value.



Following Christ isn't convenient and it can't be half-hearted. God wants all of us. God calls us to minister to the poor and the orphans and the widows. That's why we're traveling to Africa with Visiting Orphans. My life needs to be about loving God and loving people. Is that always easy? Absolutely not. Is there sacrifice involed? Absolutely. Do I always make the right choices and deny myself and choose to follow Him? Absolutely not. But His mercies are new each morning and at the end of my life I want to hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant". The desire of my heart is to finish well and we can only finish well when we're living completely for Him. It's not about me anyway, it's all about Him and bringing glory to Him.

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Manna...Stone Number 3

This is our third "rock of remembrance"...we are tracing the hand of God's faithfulness through the years.

April 2001--Stephen was 16 months old and we were deciding which adoption path to pursue next. We had talked about the Ukraine and China, but decided to try domestic adoption again. We put in our paperwork with the same agency in VA, but had to have a home study done from an agency in our state. We decided to put our paperwork in with both agencies (one in VA and one in Michigan). We were living with my parents at the time and were building a house two doors down from my parents.

Oh the joys of adoption paperwork. Since we were living with my parents and my brother at the time, we all had to submit paperwork. We all had to get physicals, TB tests, fingerprints for background checks, interviews for the home study, etc.

Our home study was approved in July of 2001 and we decided to pull our file from the agency in Michigan sometime in late July. We were receiving bills for thousands of dollars from both agencies to keep our file "active" and we decided that we would just keep our file active with one agency. I called the office in Michigan and talked to the director and she said she understood and that they would pull our file.

Sometime in September we got a call from the agency in Michigan saying that a birthmom wanted to "interview" us. I told Rachel (our social worker) that we had pulled our file a couple of months ago. God in His providence allowed our file "not to be pulled". Birthmoms were still viewing our file. Rachel asked if we were willing to meet, she didn't care if we had pulled our file or not. Of course, we said absolutely. We drove 3 hours to Grand Rapids and met the birthmom and her mother. Matthew had already been born (August 1, 2001) and it hadn't worked out with a previous family that she had chosen. Matthew was in foster care and Laurie (birthmom) was struggling with this decision.(I'm really not sure of all the details, but they really don't matter). They were interviewing another family after us that didn't have any children. The social worker in Grand Rapids told us that Laurie preferred a family without any children. We walked away and just decided to trust that God would work out His plan. If Matthew was to be ours, He could move their hearts.

We were on pins and needles just wondering what the outcome would be. We did completely trust God, but your mind just races with dreams and plans, etc. We received a call that they wanted to talk to us again and to meet Stephen. For the record, it is nerve wracking to take a 21 month old boy to this kind of a meeting. But we did. We drove 3 hours to see Laurie again and I think Stephen was pretty well behaved...can't really remember all the details.

There isn't enough room for all the details, but on October 9, 2001 we welcomed Matthew Joseph into our family. Laurie had interviewed several families, worked with two different agencies, but she chose us. We were humbled and honored.

Matthew was a happy and sweet baby. He was so good-natured right from the beginning. He smiled and laughed at an early age and still has us smiling and laughing today. Stephen couldn't say Matthew I guess, so he called him "Manna". God caused manna to appear in the Old Testament at the right time and used manna to meet His people's needs. God sent Matthew to our family at just the right time and fulfilled the desire of our hearts for more children. Matthew means "gift of God" and that's exactly what he was then and still is today.

Meet Matthew Joseph Jordan
Born August 1, 2001 at 12:52 p.m. weighing 7 lbs. 11 oz.







I hope you can see God's faithfulness in your life as well. He has abundantly blessed us and we are so thankful.

Two Fifths of a Second

God used a trip to Zambia to change my life. As I saw a country in bondage to witch doctors and the affect it had on these precious children's lives, my heart was overwhelmed. What things did I have in my life that were holding me back and holding back the plans that God has for me? How was that affecting my children? Was I truly living the abundant life that Jesus called us to in John 10:10? My heart is full even as I think about it because God did a big work in my life that summer and in the months to follow. He showed me things that I guess I needed to go to Africa to see.


God has softened my heart to the poor and needy. He put a special place in my heart for orphans. What is our responsibility in all of this? These are things that we're still trying to figure out. You have to do something...so we give when we see a need, we sponsor a child in Nicaragua, but it just never seems to be enough.

I read this book and it pushed me to ask myself some tough questions.
Crazy Love by Francis Chan...an incredible read.

He talks about how life is a movie and our part is only two fifths of a second. I want my two fifths of a second to count, how about you? He also asks the questions, "If you stopped believing in God today, how would your life change tomorrow?" His point, if your life wouldn't change dramatically, then are you really living a life completely surrendered to God. So, I started talking to Derek about what we should do. Should we downsize and move into a smaller house and give more to missions? Should we adopt an orphan? Should we just sell it all and move to Africa? I tend to jump into things quickly...Derek tends to think things through and pray and wait. If it were up to me and my emotional side, we would have a for sale sign in our yard, an application with the IMB, and an application to an adoption agency for a family of five that I found online who desperately need a home. But God brings logical and emotional minds together (men and women :-), so that there's balance. God wants hearts completely surrendered to Him. Sometimes He uses us in a secular workplace or in a ministry in the US or on the mission field in Africa or central America. The point is not where, the point is that your heart is completely surrendered to Him. Is your yes on the table for God to use to bring Himself glory?

Angela told me that she was probably going to go on a trip to Africa, what did I think? Of course, I thought that was great. "Sumer's going with me, do you want to go?" Big Nanny needs to stop asking me things. She asked me in December of last year if I had thought about joining the preschool staff, I didn't have an answer for her...just that I needed to pray. I had plenty of reasons to run for my life...talk about a tough job, but God pricked my heart to say yes. She then asked me about Africa and God once again pricked my heart to say yes to Ethiopia and Uganda even though that means I might have to say no to Zambia in 2010.

God ordained for "such a time as this" for three hearts that are crazy for Jesus to join Him in changing the world not just here in Tenn., but in Uganda and Ethiopia as well.

From Crazy Love, p. 44 "We have only our two-fifths-of-a-second-long scene to live. I don't know about you, but I want my two-fifths of a second to be about my making much of God. 1 Cor. 10:31 says, 'So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.' That is what each of our two-fifths of a second is about."

Make your two fifths of a second count! Give God the glory!

God's Faithfulness, Stone Number 2

As I thought of God's faithfulness today, I remembered that in Old Testament times they would build an altar to the Lord out of stones. This altar would be a reminder of what God had done for them. So, I'm labeling my "rocks of remembrance". Todays is stone number 2.

I do not know the pain of childbirth, I do not know the pain of losing a school age or teenage child, but I do know the pain of being a barren woman. I know the pain of an empty womb that will never be full. As I've aged, I've realized that pain cannot be compared. I cannot compare my pain to yours. I cannot describe the pain of baby showers or labor stories or nursing stories or the longing deep within for a biological child. Yet, God has been faithful. Over time, the longing has been soothed but not erased. This is the plan for our lives and it's God's perfect plan.


God choose to bring life into our family through adoption. Here's Stephen's unique story:

We knew that adoption was our next step. Months before our fertility treatments, I had seen a Dr. Falwell Old Time Gospel Hour where he talked about the Liberty Godparent Home. Sometime in September, I called the adoption agency in Virginia and asked if they had a long waiting list. I had heard that domestic adoption waits were 2 years or more. The lady told me that they actually didn't have a very long waiting list right now. We started on the paperwork immediately. Budgets, references, bios, fire escape plans, background checks, physicals, question after question about our marriage, our personal life and our faith. It was probably 50 pages of documents. We filled them out quickly and mailed them the beginning of October. It would be 30 days for us to hear if we had been approved by the board.


Derek was scheduled to go on a mission trip to Kenya with PT (our pastor). Derek debated canceling because of the recent events. I encouraged him to go. I would be fine. They went and their team lead thousands to Christ. The stories of Kenya are a post all in itself.


While Derek was gone (this is mid to late October) we received two phone calls about birthmoms that wanted to view our files. We didn't even know that we had been accepted by the board. One mom was interested and we needed to do a video as soon as Derek got home. We shot the video in our family room and we'd pause the video and Derek would lie on the floor in between segments. Partly because of exhaustion from the trip and partly because of some mysterious illness he picked up in Africa or had prior to the trip.


We mailed in our video the beginning of November and the weekend before Thanksgiving, we met Stephen's birthmom. She told us she was having a boy, "Did we have a name picked out?" We had been discussing names for months, possibly years. Stephen had never come up, but I had just studied Stephen in a Bible study and fell in love with the story of Stephen. As the heavens opened, Stephen could see Christ standing at the right hand of God. Christ stood for Stephen as he was stoned. It's the only time in Scripture that we see Christ standing for someone. (see Acts 7:54-60)


Anyway, I said, "What do you think about the name Stephen?"

She loved the name. It is her father's name. So Stephen not only has a biblical name. He has his biological grandfather's name. Isn't God good?


Stephen was born December 18, 1999. We had to wait 25 days for all the paperwork to clear. We didn't see any pictures of him. They asked us if we'd be willing to come share a testimony Sunday morning at Thomas Road Baptist about the Liberty Godparent Home and what adoption meant to us. They told us that they would give us Stephen later that day in the evening service. They thought the church would love to be part of his "Gotcha Day". Was that okay? Sure, why not?


We shared our testimony for the church that morning and this is what happened next....
(Note: Our last name and place of residence was kept quiet because of adoption policies)



Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!!!

God's Faithfulness Part 1

Sunday afternoon I brought a challenge to the preschool teachers. Don't doubt, have faith. That's it in a nutshell. Why should we ever doubt when Scripture is full of promises? God doesn't lie. God is who He says He is and God's going to do what He says He's going to do. He is faithful, even when we aren't. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness forgetting what all God had done for them. They wouldn't go in and conquer the land that God had promised because they doubted. I look at it and think, how could they doubt? He freed them from slavery in Egypt, He parted the Red Sea, He provided manna for them and yet they had doubt and were afraid. They actually thought it'd be better to go back to slavery in Egypt. Seriously, how crazy is that? Don't we react that way sometimes in our lives. Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

So, I've decided to go back and mark some of those miracles in our family's life. I may have already posted about Stephen's adoption story, but I'm doing it again, just because it really is a miracle. It's a reminder to me of God's goodness and faithfulness.

January or so of 1999: The infertility doctor told us there was pretty much no chance we'd ever have children without the help of fertility treatments. So we tried some minor stuff first and then decided to try in-vitro. We did get pregnant, but I realized about week 14 that I felt different. I didn't feel pregnant anymore. I had been starving every morning and that feeling was all of a sudden gone. So I called the nurse several times over a two day period and they allowed us to come in for an ultrasound. Derek and I will never forget being in that room and seeing a very still baby on the screen. The tech left and said she'd go get the doctor. I'll never forget lying on the table, Derek's head falling into my lap and us crying. We quickly composed ourselves as they told us to go the doctor's office. (Side note: We had been released from the fertility doctor and hadn't actual been to this ob/gyn for an appointment yet. Great way to make a first impression!) Anyway, Dr. Bressman was incredibly compassionate. God sent us a kind, compassionate doctor who shared comforting words. That was simply step one of God's faithfulness.

One of the hardest things we ever had to do was to call my parents and Derek's parents and tell them the news. I remember that my dad was working in his garage and I told my mom to go out there and put it on speakerphone. It was so hard to tell them our devastating news, but there was no need to delay the news. Things wouldn't change. It was what it was.

I had been on major progesterone pills and shots to keep us from miscarrying, so Dr. B recommended that we schedule a hospital visit. (Another side note: isn't there a way to put in the hospital notes the right questions to ask?) The nurses were asking why I was there, what had happened, etc.? Like I wanted to be there or that this was optional. I didn't want to be there. The week before, life was good. God had answered our heart cry for a child and we were pregnant and all was going well! Now I felt like my world was crashing in on me. Why had we spent all this money only to end up in a hospital 14 weeks later? Once I started explaining things to the nurse and started to tear up, she was then very compassionate. As another testimony of God's faithfulness this happened just prior to Labor Day. My parents and Derek's parents were both scheduled to come down Labor Day Weekend. Derek's parents came a little earlier than planned so that they could be at the hospital with Derek. I'm so thankful for incredible parents on both sides of the family!

So as devastated as I was I knew that even when life is hard, God is good. I am a fighter and I decided that Satan would not have any victory in this. I remember specifically stomping my foot one morning in the shower and deciding, "No more. God handed this to us and we'll just move forward". I put Scripture index cards all over our house...by the sink, on the fridge, on the mirror. I was determined that I would not question God and I would be faithful to Him even amidst the heartache.

Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

God was very near and He was working His plan behind the scenes!

More to come....