Did I sign up for this?

Sometimes I think that if you knew beforehand how hard parenting would be, you would never willingly agree to it. Some people maybe didn't sign up for it, but since our children are adopted, we really did sign up for it!!

Our kids can come up with the craziest questions and they usually come at the craziest times. Here are two from yesterday...from Matthew.

We're in the women's bathroom at church before service (a busy time in the bathroom). Matthew's in one stall, I'm in the other and I hear.
"Mommy, what are these balls in my private for?"
Seriously, I about died. I'm thinking of all the times for you to ask me this...what do I say...how do I answer...who else is in this bathroom that I might possibly know....
So I said, "Just go potty and we'll talk about it later."

Then last night after he's been in bed for awhile, he comes and asks me.
"Is Santa a Christian?"
Now, how do I answer that? Well, your Santa is a Christian, but not all Santas are. I didn't know what to do....do I tell him who Santa really is...do I just try to change the subject...instead I just said
"If he believes in Jesus, then he is."
He seemed satisfied with the answer and went back to bed.

Somebody needs to write a book on tough questions kids ask. Maybe there already is one. If not, I think I could contribute an entire chapter. Anyway, those were our laughing points for the day.

I really didn't know what I was signing up for when I signed those adoption papers, but they all three (Stephen, Matthew and Elizabeth) are a huge blessing!

Update on My To-Do List

Well, I did get all my ironing done. 150 children's clothing items. Let me just say that my children have entirely too many clothes, because they weren't even desperate for the 150 items that were missing from their closets and drawers.

The answer to the question is...Yes, I do iron blue jeans and tshirts. I don't iron pajamas, underwear, socks or sheets. I've tried to go the ironless route on the tshirts, but I just don't like the wrinkled look. Even if you pull them straight from the dryer, they still look wrinkled. I love the crispness of ironed clothes. I know...I have a problem.

Anyway, I got everything else on my list done. It only took an entire week, but it's done! Yeah!

One more day of VBS. We've had about 260 babies-5 yr. olds and an additional 140 workers this week. Everyone has done an awesome job!

I'm off to Atlanta tomorrow with some girlfriends for the Deeper Still conference with Beth Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer. Then home for a couple of days before I head back to Atlanta to catch a flight to London, then to Johannesburg, then to Lusaka, Zambia.

A big thanks to "regular nanny and papa" for taking my kids a couple of days so that I could accomplish tasks on my list. A big thank you to "florida nanny and papa" for coming to Tennessee for two weeks so that I can travel to Africa. My kids will be spoiled rotten by the time I get home, but that's what grandparents do best!

And of course, a big thank you to Derek who is the best husband in the world for me. He tolerates all my overcommitments and then partners with me in most of it. He wrote an awesome VBS computer program for us this year, helped with early childcare so the VBS directors could get things done in the morning, worked out computer glitches (some created by us) and even took a group of 3 yr. olds from room to room on Monday because we were short helpers.

I am blessed! Thank you to God Almighty who showers me with His blessings in the form of friends, family and co-laborers!

Matthew and Ozzie

Today was Matthew's special day with Papa. Stephen went to a car race a couple of weekends ago (no pictures to post). Today Matthew went to a Nashville Sounds game. He also got to do something very fun...he got chased by Ozzie, the Sounds mascot from 2nd to home.

Here he is running, running...





and he beats Ozzie home! Go Matthew!





Ozzie and Matthew...



And it truly is a small world after all, because Ozzie goes to our church!

Messy Monday

Only 17 days before I leave for Zambia, Africa and my schedule is full. Before I leave, I will have a week of VBS final preparations (this week), a women's ministry 5hour planning meeting (this week), a full week of VBS (next week), a trip to Atlanta (next weekend), and lots of packing to be done.

Here's my list of things that I'm hoping to accomplish today.
Design and print Key Leader Postcards
Design and print Crew Assignment Postcards
Design a Zambia prayer letter
Collect cell phone numbers of Zambia team members
Design and print 3rd Grade Sunday School Newsletter
Create and confirm Friday women's ministry meeting agenda with Leighann
Pay Phone Bill (online)
Call Eagle's Nest about school in the fall
Call doctor to get my malaria medication
Order food for Friday's meeting
Meeting with Leighann
Meeting with VBS directors
Swim program for my kids (from 2-3 today)


And then on top of that, look at the clothes that need to be ironed. These are just Stephen's, Matthew's and Elizabeth's. Derek's clothes and my clothes go onto hangers unironed until the day before or the morning of being worn.




I'm OVERWHELMED! I'm really not that important and everything in life would function just as well even if I wasn't here. I completely understand that. The problem is that I overcommit and I know it. "My name is Alicia and I have a problem...." Next week's Bible study will be timely because it is on reorganizing your priorities. I need a good dose of that even though it might not taste well. (ha, ha) Just an fyi...I am giving up my role as VBS director. VBS 2009 will find me in a craft room working with glue dots or in a snack room handing children a granola bar, a banana or a fruit roll up. Look for it....it's going to happen!

I tell Derek that I always try to fit more into my day than can be accomplished. His advice...."We overestimate what we can get done in a day, but we underestimate what can be done in a year." He's ever the optimist!!! (I love him!) So, I press forward and hope to cross at least half of these things off of my list TODAY. And if I could get half of this ironing done, well that would just bless me!!!

My verses for today:
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. He gives strength to the weary and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary. Isaiah 40:28-31

Wordless Wednesday

His Praise Shall Continually Be in My Mouth

The righteous cry and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalm 34:17

Psalm 34 is one of my favorite Psalms. I have often turned to this Psalm for comfort and someday I want to memorize all 22 verses. Someday when my plate just isn't as full, but I don't know if that someday will ever come.

However, this post isn't about me. It's about Elizabeth and a mighty God that answered a sweet little 5 year old's prayer. Last summer Elizabeth took swimming lessons at Camp Nickajack and was swimming pretty well by the end of the summer. Well, about two weeks ago she jumped in the pool in Williamsburg and completely forgot everything that she had learned. Maybe she just panicked and then got scared about the water, but going to the pool since then has not been a fun event with Elizabeth. She has cried that she doesn't want to go. She has even gone as far as begging while we're at the pool to take her home and put her to bed. She'd rather go to bed early then put her head in the water.

Well, Derek bribed her to put her head underwater and to try to swim to the side and she just cried and cried. He made her do it, but it's like she never even knew how to swim. We knew that this week would be our week of swim lessons at Camp Nickajack and we just couldn't believe that we were starting all over. She cried this weekend that she didn't want to go and we told her she didn't need to be scared, etc. Sunday night as we said our family prayers, Matthew and Stephen were praying that they'd have a fun week at swim lessons and Elizabeth's sweet prayer was "Dear God, I pray for my family and help me not to be scared at swim lessons tomorrow."

Then at 5 a.m. Monday morning she shows up next to my bed and says, "Momma, I can't sleep. I keep thinking about swim lessons and I'm afraid." If you know me well, you know that I'm worth nothing at 5 a.m. in the morning. I really just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but instead I said, "Crawl in the bed with me. I'll pray for you. God told us that we don't need to be afraid. He has not given us a spirit of fear." I prayed for her and she fell back asleep. I then asked God to please answer her prayer and mine. I didn't want to listen to Elizabeth scream and cry later that day about lessons.

Well, praise God! He answered our prayers! Elizabeth walked back to those lessons (the parents aren't allowed by the pool) without a tear in her eyes and she did great yesterday and today. She didn't cry at all and did exactly what they said including jumping off the diving board today.

Here's the best part. My mom asked her today how her swim lessons were going. Elizabeth said "Good and I'm not even scared".
My mom said "That's great, what changed your mind?
Elizabeth "I prayed"
My mom "Well, that's good"
Elizabeth "God answers Christians."

Oh yes, sweet little Elizabeth, He does!

"O taste and see that the Lord is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" Psalm 34:8

Family Fun

So, let me tell you about the rest of our vacation. We traveled over to Williamsburg, VA after our stay in Lynchburg. It is about a 3 hour drive and I want you to know that we fit 4 adults and 3 kids and a whole lot of luggage and snacks into a Chrysler minivan. What this means is that we had 3 kids in the back seat most of the time and occasionally it would be two kids and a squished adult in the middle just to keep some peace in the van. There was one other family member along for the ride and that would be "Squishy". Matthew got Squishy when he was a baby and he loved Squishy very much and mommy was so paranoid that we might lose him (Squishy, not Matthew), that we don't just have one squishy, not two, not three, not four, not even five, but six Squishy dogs living in our house. However, Elizabeth and Matthew will tell you that they are not all Squishy. One is Carrot (who knows) and one is girl Squishy and one is boy Squishy and I don't know about the other three. (Just for clarification, only one Squishy traveled with us, not six)

Here's Squishy taking a nap with his best friend.




All in all it was a great trip and the kids kept the fighting to a minimum. If there's no fighting between the siblings at your house, then PLEASE share your secret. Honestly, three's a crowd. Someone is always the odd man out. For example on most coasters, there are only two seats. Who rides by himself?

I'm glad you asked. Matthew does in the very front car. He's crazy on coasters. His biggest hindrance right now is that he can't ride the big coasters, because he's not 48" yet. He is great to ride with though because he just laughs and screams through the whole ride. The park was so empty on Wednesday (probably because it was very cold), that we didn't even have to get off the coaster(The Big Bad Wolf). We could stay in the same seats and ride it over and over and over and over again. You get the picture!




Then, there's this coaster....Griffon. Griffon carries riders up 205 feet, then hurtles them 90 degrees straight down at 70 mph. And that’s just the beginning.

This picture doesn't accurately portray the ride. You can go to www.buschgardens.com if you're interested in more details.

It is the world's tallest, floorless dive coaster. It takes you to the top and then just dangles you over the side for about 6 seconds. Derek and I rode it twice and tried to convince Stephen to ride it, but he just wasn't sure. Stephen decided he was ready to ride, so Derek and my dad walked back to this section of the park with Stephen and then he tried to chicken out once they got to the front of the line. What did daddy do? He picked him up and strapped him in the seat. Stephen loved it and even rode it a second time. It really is a great coaster! Don't turn us into child services, Stephen just needed a little extra push. I wanted to put him on it from the very beginning, but Derek is the more patient of the two of us (as if you didn't know that already).


We also visited Williamsburg and Historic Jamestowne and Jamestowne Settlement while in Virginia. A great family vacation, but wait until the kids are old enough to enjoy some of the history. Derek quizzed our kids every night about what we had learned and honestly, I am just amazed at what they can remember, even when they look like they're not paying attention. It was a huge history lesson for me, because even though I received an A in U.S. History, it obviously didn't stay in my brain because I learned all kinds of new things as well!

Here's a picture of all of us and let me just say that I would probably not have survived on this boat for 5 1/2 months. I'm thankful I was born in 1972!

For such a time as this...

After 8 years, we decided that it was time for Stephen to see his birthmom again. He hasn't seen her since he was less than a month old and of course he has no memories of that meeting. He has been asking a lot of questions over the last year and has expressed quite an interest in her family. She married soon after Stephen was born and has 5 children with her husband. (not Stephen's birthfather)

Over the last year, Stephen has said and done many things that have "stung" as an adoptive parent. Even though I'm supposed to be a mature adult, it does hurt a little when Stephen has "family picture day" at school and decides to take in pictures of his birthmom and his half siblings, rather than our family. I have no other words to describe the feelings I've had over the last year, except that it just "stings a bit". I guess it's like putting a little salt on some infertile wounds. We've tried to explain to our children over and over again that God creates families in many different ways, and for our family adoption was His plan. We are so very thankful to the birthparents who chose us to parent their children. We can only imagine how difficult this decision was for them and in no way do we want to minimize their pain or the anguish they felt and may still feel as they made this decision.

Just on the other side of adoption, nothing could have prepared me for the things that my child would say to me. There were times when I wanted to say back, "Do you realize how much we paid to have you as part of our family?" or "Do you know the tears we shed and how we pleaded with God to give us a child?" and so on. But I don't, instead I've learned that it's best not to have a reaction as he goes on and on about his birthfamily. Aren't most 8 yr. olds ungrateful for how their family provides for them and sacrifices personal indulgences (like a cruise with hubby), so that we can go to Disney 3 yrs. in a row?

Well, we went this past weekend to Lynchburg, Virginia so that Stephen could meet with his birthmom and her family. My parents went with us because we added a vacation to Williamsburg, Virginia on to the trip. I was nervous, anxious, apprehensive, not exactly knowing what to expect. I love Stephen's birthmom and talk to her 4-5 times a year and we can relate on so many levels. We're "doing life together" as they say, because our kids are similar ages. To be perfectly honest though, I just didn't know what to expect when we met. Would Stephen fall into her arms and start sobbing that he wanted to "return to his real home"? Would this just add fuel to the fire and he would begin to think that he does belong in this home rather than in ours? Seriously, these were some of the thoughts in my head. But I decided that we were doing the right thing for Stephen and we would press forward regardless of how awkward or uncomfortable this meeting might make us.

Well, if you've continued to read this lengthy blog entry, let me give God the glory. Yeah God! (as a friend of mine would say) God did "exceeding abundantly" in our lives. We met them at their house on Saturday night and the kids hit it off very well. We had dinner together and it was just like getting together with a group of friends. I was so relieved and so thankful that there wasn't tension in the air. We left and returned to our hotel after hours of play. We went to Thomas Road Baptist Church on Sunday and Stephen was able to meet Jonathan Falwell (Jerry Falwell's son) and was able to shake his hand. We then met Courtney and her gang for lunch on Sunday (6 adults and 8 children 8 yrs. old and under....a blog entry for another day). We then went to a park and the kids had a fabulous time again. Once we were all exhausted and sweaty, we said our goodbyes, not knowing when we would see each other again. (On a side note, they will be moving to Jackson, Miss. in about a year because her husband Matt will be attending seminary there.)

I was again incredibly grateful for this sweet woman who gave Stephen life and gave us the opportunity to be parents. Stephen has an incredible story and I just might have to share it on this blog sometime this week. In 1999 our journey began of God doing "exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think". God is faithful and He continues to amaze us with His goodness and faithfulness.

Here's a picture of Stephen and his birthmom, Courtney.


Here's a picture of Stephen with 3 of his half-siblings. We think he looks most like Mary (the oldest), but Lydia (the younger in the picture) has a face just like Stephen's when he was a toddler.


And then here is Elizabeth and Lizzie having a grand time. A tea party under the deck.


And so, God prepared everyone's hearts "for such a time as this". Sometimes He calls us to things that might be uncomfortable, but He never fails us. He's walking right there with us every step of the way!