Thanks to those of you who said a prayer for me. Today, I feel much better. There is power in prayer and in the spoken Word of God.
When I lived in Germany my senior year of high school, I started dreaming in German. It was the strangest thing because people in my life who didn't even speak German would be speaking German in my dreams. They say that once that happens, you are close to mastering the language. I guess I believed that because I ended up making German my major in college.
I'm not dreaming in Nyanjan, but I do dream of Zambia almost every night. I'm thinking that means that part of my heart is still there, maybe always will be. Any of you that know me well know that I have a heart for missions and adventure. I would love to travel the world and so almost any mission opportunity sounds exciting to me...work for God and travel the world. I will say that I have no desire to go to India or the Middle East though, so I'm hoping God doesn't call me to either of those places.
My call to Zambia began in 2006 when I really wanted to go on the mission trip to China. God called me to Albania instead in 2006 and I didn't go anywhere in 2007. I was convinced that I would be going to China in 2008. I even began to recruit some friends to go with me to China. At our missions banquet in January, when they held up the Zambian flag and read about the trip, there was a lump in my throat and I got teary eyed. I thought, "No way Lord. I thought I was going to China". Well, that began the path to Zambia. Now, I can't imagine ever wanting to go anywhere else, but who knows what God has in store?
I'm hoping to return to Zambia summer 2009 and hoping that Derek can join me. All my blog reading friends are invited as well.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Living in a Pit
I'm struggling to come up with a title for this post. If you continue to check back for more posts on Africa, I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a couple of days. Something has happened to me....I'm in a pit. Not sure if I jumped in, fell in or got pushed in, but I'm there and trying to get out. I know God doesn't want me there and He definitely doesn't want me staying there. I'm crying all the time and feeling "out of place" here in Tennessee. This is what they call "re-entry". Some spiritual depression after you've been on the mountain top is to be expected. Why I thought it wouldn't happen to me or why I thought I wouldn't fall so hard, I don't know.
Derek just continues to tell me that it's normal, but I don't feel very normal right now. I don't have any motivation to get things done and just about anything can make me cry. (which if you know me, I don't cry very easily or at least pre-Zambia I didn't)
I read a couple of verses this morning that said that the Lord is for me...and of course, those verses made me cry. I know God is not against me, but when I feel so "out of whack" for lack of a better phrase, I just don't know what to feel or think. Everything I told my girls in Zambia...that they are daughters of the King, that God has a specific plan and purpose for their life exactly where they are now, that God wants to use everything that's happened in their lives to bring Himself glory, all those things that I believe down to my core being...I came home and now those are the very questions I seem to be posing to myself. Does my simple life in middle TN really matter? Am I really accomplishing anything for Him? Am I living life to the fullest or just trying to survive? What is God's specific plan for my life? These are the questions that are rolling around in my head and heart.
I know the answers. I know that God is for me. I know that He does have a plan for my life. I know that my simple life can make a difference. I just need my emotions to catch up with that truth, because my emotions are still stuck in that pit. (I really believe it's spiritual warfare, but that's a post for another day)
Anyway, if you're reading this post, you probably got more than you care to know, but maybe somebody needs to know that we all go through ups and downs in life. I draw comfort from the fact that even Bible characters didn't always get to live on the spiritual mountaintops. The key is to not stay in the pit. So, I'm climbing out today! I'm claiming the promises of God's Word that I claimed over the lives of those 14 girls two weeks ago.
And soon very soon, I'll post again about Africa and maybe you'll just get a glimpse of why my world really has been turned upside down.
Philippians 3:12-14 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Derek just continues to tell me that it's normal, but I don't feel very normal right now. I don't have any motivation to get things done and just about anything can make me cry. (which if you know me, I don't cry very easily or at least pre-Zambia I didn't)
I read a couple of verses this morning that said that the Lord is for me...and of course, those verses made me cry. I know God is not against me, but when I feel so "out of whack" for lack of a better phrase, I just don't know what to feel or think. Everything I told my girls in Zambia...that they are daughters of the King, that God has a specific plan and purpose for their life exactly where they are now, that God wants to use everything that's happened in their lives to bring Himself glory, all those things that I believe down to my core being...I came home and now those are the very questions I seem to be posing to myself. Does my simple life in middle TN really matter? Am I really accomplishing anything for Him? Am I living life to the fullest or just trying to survive? What is God's specific plan for my life? These are the questions that are rolling around in my head and heart.
I know the answers. I know that God is for me. I know that He does have a plan for my life. I know that my simple life can make a difference. I just need my emotions to catch up with that truth, because my emotions are still stuck in that pit. (I really believe it's spiritual warfare, but that's a post for another day)
Anyway, if you're reading this post, you probably got more than you care to know, but maybe somebody needs to know that we all go through ups and downs in life. I draw comfort from the fact that even Bible characters didn't always get to live on the spiritual mountaintops. The key is to not stay in the pit. So, I'm climbing out today! I'm claiming the promises of God's Word that I claimed over the lives of those 14 girls two weeks ago.
And soon very soon, I'll post again about Africa and maybe you'll just get a glimpse of why my world really has been turned upside down.
Philippians 3:12-14 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Favorite Friday Photos
This is Graham and Sean in our villa kitchen in Africa. They scared me quite a bit when I walked in and saw them dressed this way. (I advised them not to be walking the streets of Zambia in these clothes) It seems a whole huge family of bees had invaded our laundry room. Sean and Graham decided to take them on with slingshots and cashews...I am telling the truth!
We Interrupt the Regularly Scheduled Programming...
Here's the scoop. I'm tired. I've fallen asleep almost every night this week at 7 or 7:30. (that is 2:30 in the morning Zambia time) Last night I had Bible study and felt great. I stayed up until 11 or so and then got in the bed and couldn't fall asleep. Why? Because it was time to wake up in Zambia....so today I'm dragging a bit.
I'll be back with more Africa pictures and stories, but I wanted to let you know that all of our kids were accepted to the Christian school. Matthew and Elizabeth were both on the waiting list, but God worked it all out. We're excited, but Matthew and Stephen are a bit resistant. They are sad about leaving Heritage and their friends, but of course I keep encouraging them that they'll make new friends.
Anyway, I wanted you to know that answer to prayer. We'll see what happens after this year. Stephen will be memorizing the book of Philippians. Isn't that incredible? Once he learns it, he'll never forget it. Praise God!
I'll be back with more Africa pictures and stories, but I wanted to let you know that all of our kids were accepted to the Christian school. Matthew and Elizabeth were both on the waiting list, but God worked it all out. We're excited, but Matthew and Stephen are a bit resistant. They are sad about leaving Heritage and their friends, but of course I keep encouraging them that they'll make new friends.
Anyway, I wanted you to know that answer to prayer. We'll see what happens after this year. Stephen will be memorizing the book of Philippians. Isn't that incredible? Once he learns it, he'll never forget it. Praise God!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
What did they eat in Africa?
Poverty is overwhelming in Zambia. Not a single one of my girls ever get breakfast. Some only get one meal a day and some get lunch and dinner, but not every day. While they were at Camp Life, the children received a banana in the morning, 4 slices of bread and Maheu at lunch and an apple in the afternoon. I am telling you that every last crumb of that bread got ate each and every day.
Greer encouraged us to have lunch with another group of the opposite sex (he wanted us to model the right kind of relationship between boys and girls because for many of these children, they haven't seen this), so on Wednesday Brian's boys came and served my girls' lunch. The boys protested at first because they were concerned that they would be giving their lunch away. Brian explained that they would just give the girls their bread and energy drink and then they would receive their own. The boys were so sweet. Brian's little 6 yr. old boy GJ got in the center of our girls' circle, knelt to the ground and prayed for our food. It grabbed my heart for sure.
We tried to intermingle the two groups, but it didn't really work the first day. My girls on their own said "The boys served us today, so tomorrow we will serve the boys" Our lunch was very short on Thursday, so we decided to do this on Friday. Here are pictures of Brian and I trying the energy drink which the kids love. My face should tell you what I thought.
Here is Brian trying to politely figure out what exactly is in this drink. It had textured things floating in it and that alone made it disgusting to me. The kids love it though. It's a treat for them to get Maheu each day.
Greer encouraged us to have lunch with another group of the opposite sex (he wanted us to model the right kind of relationship between boys and girls because for many of these children, they haven't seen this), so on Wednesday Brian's boys came and served my girls' lunch. The boys protested at first because they were concerned that they would be giving their lunch away. Brian explained that they would just give the girls their bread and energy drink and then they would receive their own. The boys were so sweet. Brian's little 6 yr. old boy GJ got in the center of our girls' circle, knelt to the ground and prayed for our food. It grabbed my heart for sure.
We tried to intermingle the two groups, but it didn't really work the first day. My girls on their own said "The boys served us today, so tomorrow we will serve the boys" Our lunch was very short on Thursday, so we decided to do this on Friday. Here are pictures of Brian and I trying the energy drink which the kids love. My face should tell you what I thought.
Here is Brian trying to politely figure out what exactly is in this drink. It had textured things floating in it and that alone made it disgusting to me. The kids love it though. It's a treat for them to get Maheu each day.
They Changed My Name
It's biblical after all. God changed people's names all throughout Scripture. Greer told us that if any of our children had a name that had a bad meaning to change their name. Some of these children have been given names that mean trouble, curse, etc.
Well, my Zambian evangelist decided that we needed Zambian names. My new name is Chisomo which means grace. Brian's is Bupe which means gift. Shannon's is Taonga which means thank you and Jill's is Yulu which means heaven. Here are a couple of fun snaps as they call them in Zambia.
(Just for the record....I must be a different person in Zambia. My villa mates were using words like soft and mellow to describe me. Seriously, I don't think those words have ever been used to describe me! My parents and Derek are still trying to recover from the shock that those two words could be used to describe me. Ha!)
Taonga and Chisomo (villa mates and roommates)
Shannon was an awesome roommate! We won the clean room of the week award!
Jill, Momma Kath and me
Jill kept us laughing all week, especially because she found Brian so funny. It made us laugh just because she laughed at/with him. Kathleen kept us all on track and kept positive energy in the villa at all times. She is truly a gem!
My sweet friend Bupe. Brian's the man who had to travel from Nashville to Atlanta to London to South Africa to Zambia with four other women. A big patience award or something needs to be given to Brian. Every time there was a glitch, Brian was there to assist and stand by our side. Thanks Brian! The trip wouldn't have been the same without you.
Well, my Zambian evangelist decided that we needed Zambian names. My new name is Chisomo which means grace. Brian's is Bupe which means gift. Shannon's is Taonga which means thank you and Jill's is Yulu which means heaven. Here are a couple of fun snaps as they call them in Zambia.
(Just for the record....I must be a different person in Zambia. My villa mates were using words like soft and mellow to describe me. Seriously, I don't think those words have ever been used to describe me! My parents and Derek are still trying to recover from the shock that those two words could be used to describe me. Ha!)
Taonga and Chisomo (villa mates and roommates)
Shannon was an awesome roommate! We won the clean room of the week award!
Jill, Momma Kath and me
Jill kept us laughing all week, especially because she found Brian so funny. It made us laugh just because she laughed at/with him. Kathleen kept us all on track and kept positive energy in the villa at all times. She is truly a gem!
My sweet friend Bupe. Brian's the man who had to travel from Nashville to Atlanta to London to South Africa to Zambia with four other women. A big patience award or something needs to be given to Brian. Every time there was a glitch, Brian was there to assist and stand by our side. Thanks Brian! The trip wouldn't have been the same without you.
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