Rejoice With Those Who Rejoice

More than 12 years ago, Derek and I made a church visit to a house in Franklin. Little did we know when we knocked on the door that night, that this family would become lifelong friends. God is so good in that He gives us what we don't even know we need.

And then about 7 years ago, another friend showed up to help us unpack our boxes and boxes of things. She specifically organized my kitchen. We were more acquaintances then and now we are so much more. I love that God sends us friends that we don't even know we need. But He knows what's coming in our lives and He knows exactly which friendships need to be formed. And He ordains our steps so that our paths will cross and our hearts will be knit together.

And so, I rejoice tonight with tears in my eyes all that this picture represents. It represents two very dear friends that I do not deserve. It represents a country that I love very dearly and two precious boys from there. And it represents that God is faithful and that even when we can't see it, He is working and He is good. And now two boys are in their forever home because of one family's incredible faith and tenacity and because God always keeps His Word. He puts the lonely in families and He sends us family and friends that we don't even know we need.

Hupomeno

This post has been rolling around in my head for weeks, but I just never took the time to write it because well...I've been wrestling with God for a few weeks. And God just kept saying "hupomeno" to me over and over.

Our adoption has taken several series of setbacks and just when I think things can't get more complicated, they do. The details are much too complicated to even try to explain on this blog, but we're just in a season of uncertainty. And uncertainty just isn't my thing. If I knew how this was all going to turn out, then I could handle it better (or so I think). But it's not really faith if you know exactly how things are going to turn out.

I heard a sermon about trials and life being hard awhile back. Derek and I had gone to Chattanooga to hear James MacDonald...one of my all time favorite preachers. Funny thing was at the time, life was good and I didn't feel like I was in the middle of a trial. You've heard it before...you've either just come out of a trial, you're in one right now or you're about to be in one. And so, the Lord let my ears hear the message because He knew I would need it for a later date.

You may be familiar with the passage in James 1, consider it all joy when you encounter various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance (patience, steadfastness). The Greek word for endurance or patience or steadfastness...yes, you guessed it, it's hupomeno.
hupo means "under", meno means "remain"

So God sends us trials and testing and we need to "remain under" them. That's not what I want to do. I want to run. Get the pressure off of me. It doesn't feel good. I want to quit. This feels uncomfortable and I don't like it. I want to just fuss that this isn't fair or that He's asking too much of me. I want to give up and quit. But God....He wants me to "remain under" because when it's all said and done, He tells us that we will come forth as gold. We will be refined. And so, it's only by us "staying under" the trial until God removes it that we become more like Christ.

And so, I press on and I keep believing God for the impossible. I keep begging for the mountains to be removed. But most of all, I just "remain under" and I trust God.

Why? Because the nail that doesn't remain under the hammer will never reach the goal; because the rough diamond that doesn't remain under the chisel will never become a precious jewel; because the gold that doesn't remain under the fire will never be a thing of beauty; because the Christian who doesn't remain under the hand of God will never see His purpose for the trial accomplished and will never experience the blessing on the other side. From When Life is Hard by James MacDonald

Trials are "various". They come in different forms and sizes. Yours isn't mine and mine isn't yours, but this I can tell you, God doesn't want you to run. He doesn't want you to quit. He doesn't want you to give up. He wants you to "hupomeno" or remain under. He has good things planned for you on the other side!

October Pictures

The last few days have been busy.....

We carved pumpkins. This pumpkin was my favorite.

Matthew and Elizabeth ran in the Grey Ghost Run. For Elizabeth, this was primarily a social event. At one point, she and Taylor were just walking holding hands chatting about something...during the race.

We visited with my grandpa (the kids' great-grandpa) before he went back to Michigan.

We then spent some time collecting way more candy than we need. It's been a fun couple of days!

Wrestling with God

Genesis 32:24-32...are you familiar with the story? Jacob is wrestling with God and he says, "I will not let you go unless you bless me". Jacob, now Israel, walked with a limp because the Lord had touched him on his thigh as they wrestled. Maybe Israel always walked with a limp and that was just a reminder of his encounter with the Lord.

This is where I feel like I am personally right now. Wrestling with God and hanging on for dear life. I'm begging and pleading and asking him to answer our prayers regarding our adoption and some days I feel like it's going to happen and other days, it just seems impossible. You don't need all the details, but the adoptions in this particular country are becoming more and more complicated and difficult. I am begging the Lord to bless me and to give me the desire of my heart. And I'm hanging on until He does. But really, it's not about the blessing. It's about the encounter with the Lord. I know His blessing will come, but what that will look like in my life, I don't know.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that there's a part of me that fears or wonders if we'll walk with a limp the rest of our lives. If at some point in this journey, we will have a broken heart. It's possible. But it's also possible, that God will move the mountains that need to be moved and we'll have an incredible testimony of God's goodness in the story of our son. And whichever way God chooses, I know that His ways are higher than my ways. And if it doesn't go the way I am praying and believing with great faith, He is still good. I don't think we got on the wrong path...I think God just has us in a place where we'll wrestle with Him and through the wrestling, we are truly encountering God.

My Bible has a note that says "strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions". That's where we are....we are struggling through some tough conditions.

Freaky Friday

We have one that plays by the rules and one that doesn't.

Today was crazy day at school. One plays along for the fun, the other simply refuses.

Oh well. We love them both!

Ready to Blow Out the Candle

Do you know what this little girl is thinking?
Why do I have to wait? Why are you taking pictures? What is the purpose in that? I just want to blow out the candle and eat the cupcake...waiting is no fun....
And the answer from mom is because we all need to learn patience and some day you'll be glad you have this picture.

And that's what this girl (me) is thinking too. Why do we have to wait? Why isn't our case already before the courts? What's the purpose in the waiting...waiting is no fun! And God's answer is...because I am God and I am saying that it isn't time yet. And there is purpose in the waiting because I am going to teach you many things during the journey. And some day, you'll look back and you'll thank me. And everything will be much sweeter because you patiently waited. And so we wait...that's the update. We wait on the Lord to move. Just like Elizabeth in this picture...some days I feel like I can see our "promised land"...our son. Some days I feel like I can hear him and smell him, but he's just out of reach and God has told us to wait...it's not time.

And so I cling to verses like Psalm 27:13-14 that say
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Conflicting Emotions

Romans 12...it's one of my favorite passages of Scripture.

And this week, verse 15 was lived out on the very same day.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

One friend received awesome adoption news and so the rejoicing began.
One friend suddenly lost her husband and so the weeping began.

I had such conflicting emotions that day. On one hand, so excited for our friends. On the other hand, heartbroken for my other friend. I kind of didn't know what to do with myself.

God is enough. God is sufficient.

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:5-8

And while my emotions are conflicted, God's are not. May He be our rock in the times of rejoicing and the times of weeping.