October Pictures

The last few days have been busy.....

We carved pumpkins. This pumpkin was my favorite.

Matthew and Elizabeth ran in the Grey Ghost Run. For Elizabeth, this was primarily a social event. At one point, she and Taylor were just walking holding hands chatting about something...during the race.

We visited with my grandpa (the kids' great-grandpa) before he went back to Michigan.

We then spent some time collecting way more candy than we need. It's been a fun couple of days!

Wrestling with God

Genesis 32:24-32...are you familiar with the story? Jacob is wrestling with God and he says, "I will not let you go unless you bless me". Jacob, now Israel, walked with a limp because the Lord had touched him on his thigh as they wrestled. Maybe Israel always walked with a limp and that was just a reminder of his encounter with the Lord.

This is where I feel like I am personally right now. Wrestling with God and hanging on for dear life. I'm begging and pleading and asking him to answer our prayers regarding our adoption and some days I feel like it's going to happen and other days, it just seems impossible. You don't need all the details, but the adoptions in this particular country are becoming more and more complicated and difficult. I am begging the Lord to bless me and to give me the desire of my heart. And I'm hanging on until He does. But really, it's not about the blessing. It's about the encounter with the Lord. I know His blessing will come, but what that will look like in my life, I don't know.

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that there's a part of me that fears or wonders if we'll walk with a limp the rest of our lives. If at some point in this journey, we will have a broken heart. It's possible. But it's also possible, that God will move the mountains that need to be moved and we'll have an incredible testimony of God's goodness in the story of our son. And whichever way God chooses, I know that His ways are higher than my ways. And if it doesn't go the way I am praying and believing with great faith, He is still good. I don't think we got on the wrong path...I think God just has us in a place where we'll wrestle with Him and through the wrestling, we are truly encountering God.

My Bible has a note that says "strong character develops as you struggle through tough conditions". That's where we are....we are struggling through some tough conditions.

Freaky Friday

We have one that plays by the rules and one that doesn't.

Today was crazy day at school. One plays along for the fun, the other simply refuses.

Oh well. We love them both!

Ready to Blow Out the Candle

Do you know what this little girl is thinking?
Why do I have to wait? Why are you taking pictures? What is the purpose in that? I just want to blow out the candle and eat the cupcake...waiting is no fun....
And the answer from mom is because we all need to learn patience and some day you'll be glad you have this picture.

And that's what this girl (me) is thinking too. Why do we have to wait? Why isn't our case already before the courts? What's the purpose in the waiting...waiting is no fun! And God's answer is...because I am God and I am saying that it isn't time yet. And there is purpose in the waiting because I am going to teach you many things during the journey. And some day, you'll look back and you'll thank me. And everything will be much sweeter because you patiently waited. And so we wait...that's the update. We wait on the Lord to move. Just like Elizabeth in this picture...some days I feel like I can see our "promised land"...our son. Some days I feel like I can hear him and smell him, but he's just out of reach and God has told us to wait...it's not time.

And so I cling to verses like Psalm 27:13-14 that say
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Conflicting Emotions

Romans 12...it's one of my favorite passages of Scripture.

And this week, verse 15 was lived out on the very same day.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

One friend received awesome adoption news and so the rejoicing began.
One friend suddenly lost her husband and so the weeping began.

I had such conflicting emotions that day. On one hand, so excited for our friends. On the other hand, heartbroken for my other friend. I kind of didn't know what to do with myself.

God is enough. God is sufficient.

"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:5-8

And while my emotions are conflicted, God's are not. May He be our rock in the times of rejoicing and the times of weeping.

Sweet Weekend Kisses

I call them "sweet kisses from God". Those things that show up in my life and remind me that God does hear our prayers and He is involved in the intimate details of our lives.

God has been showing off a lot the last week. I started the Believing God Bible study by Beth Moore (2nd time for me), but this time I'm believing God with an even deeper level of faith.

And so...here are just a few ways God kissed me the past few days.

1. I sent a verse to a friend to encourage her. In some ways, it was an odd verse...out of Daniel, but God impressed it on my heart as I was praying for her and so I sent it. She had just that morning written that very verse on an index card to meditate on throughout the day. Of all the verses in the Bible, God brought two friends to the exact same verse. He is so cool.

2. We're saving for an adoption...you know that. But sometimes God just gives you opportunities to bless someone else and so we did. It doesn't make sense according to the world's standards. The world says we should be holding our money tightly. But we obeyed God and He blessed us back more than double what we had given. He is so good.

3. There is someone I love dearly in Ethiopia, her name is Eden. I think of her and pray for her often. Almost every morning I buy an unsweet tea at McDonald's. Several times a week there is a girl named Eden that hands me the tea. Every time I see her nametag, I drive away praying for another Eden who's not close enough for me to hug. He is so faithful.

4. Parenting is hard. Sometimes Derek and I just feel like we're failing miserably as parents. Parenting adopted children adds a different element as well. I don't know if it's harder or not because we don't have biological children, but our house is constantly filled with conversations about adoption, birthparents, etc. And so when you get a card like this from your precious daughter, it can't be anything but a sweet kiss from God.

God amazes me. He sends me those sweet kisses just to remind me to keep doing what's right. To keep looking for those opportunities to bless others. He reminds me that He's all about people and not things. "All that is not eternal is eternally useless." C.S. Lewis

People are eternal, things are not. Let's invest our lives in people and not things and I just know that God will send you plenty of sweet kisses along the way.

Gratitude List

So, we had one of our children make a gratitude list. 25 things. You'll notice that two important people were left off the list. I guess when you make your child list 25 things that they're thankful for, you should expect to be left off the list. Maybe my feelings should be hurt that utensils and paper made the list, but mom and dad didn't. This is real life in our household...our kids think we're mean. :)