God's Faithfulness Part 1

Sunday afternoon I brought a challenge to the preschool teachers. Don't doubt, have faith. That's it in a nutshell. Why should we ever doubt when Scripture is full of promises? God doesn't lie. God is who He says He is and God's going to do what He says He's going to do. He is faithful, even when we aren't. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness forgetting what all God had done for them. They wouldn't go in and conquer the land that God had promised because they doubted. I look at it and think, how could they doubt? He freed them from slavery in Egypt, He parted the Red Sea, He provided manna for them and yet they had doubt and were afraid. They actually thought it'd be better to go back to slavery in Egypt. Seriously, how crazy is that? Don't we react that way sometimes in our lives. Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

So, I've decided to go back and mark some of those miracles in our family's life. I may have already posted about Stephen's adoption story, but I'm doing it again, just because it really is a miracle. It's a reminder to me of God's goodness and faithfulness.

January or so of 1999: The infertility doctor told us there was pretty much no chance we'd ever have children without the help of fertility treatments. So we tried some minor stuff first and then decided to try in-vitro. We did get pregnant, but I realized about week 14 that I felt different. I didn't feel pregnant anymore. I had been starving every morning and that feeling was all of a sudden gone. So I called the nurse several times over a two day period and they allowed us to come in for an ultrasound. Derek and I will never forget being in that room and seeing a very still baby on the screen. The tech left and said she'd go get the doctor. I'll never forget lying on the table, Derek's head falling into my lap and us crying. We quickly composed ourselves as they told us to go the doctor's office. (Side note: We had been released from the fertility doctor and hadn't actual been to this ob/gyn for an appointment yet. Great way to make a first impression!) Anyway, Dr. Bressman was incredibly compassionate. God sent us a kind, compassionate doctor who shared comforting words. That was simply step one of God's faithfulness.

One of the hardest things we ever had to do was to call my parents and Derek's parents and tell them the news. I remember that my dad was working in his garage and I told my mom to go out there and put it on speakerphone. It was so hard to tell them our devastating news, but there was no need to delay the news. Things wouldn't change. It was what it was.

I had been on major progesterone pills and shots to keep us from miscarrying, so Dr. B recommended that we schedule a hospital visit. (Another side note: isn't there a way to put in the hospital notes the right questions to ask?) The nurses were asking why I was there, what had happened, etc.? Like I wanted to be there or that this was optional. I didn't want to be there. The week before, life was good. God had answered our heart cry for a child and we were pregnant and all was going well! Now I felt like my world was crashing in on me. Why had we spent all this money only to end up in a hospital 14 weeks later? Once I started explaining things to the nurse and started to tear up, she was then very compassionate. As another testimony of God's faithfulness this happened just prior to Labor Day. My parents and Derek's parents were both scheduled to come down Labor Day Weekend. Derek's parents came a little earlier than planned so that they could be at the hospital with Derek. I'm so thankful for incredible parents on both sides of the family!

So as devastated as I was I knew that even when life is hard, God is good. I am a fighter and I decided that Satan would not have any victory in this. I remember specifically stomping my foot one morning in the shower and deciding, "No more. God handed this to us and we'll just move forward". I put Scripture index cards all over our house...by the sink, on the fridge, on the mirror. I was determined that I would not question God and I would be faithful to Him even amidst the heartache.

Don't doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light.

God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

God was very near and He was working His plan behind the scenes!

More to come....