Love Is Messy

I was trying to go to sleep last night and my mind kept drifting back to Africa. I've been in a pit/funk/mood...whatever you want to call it since I've been home (poor Derek and the kids...they just might disown me or send me to a hotel!) It is completely normal to have this "post mission trip depression", but this time it seemed much worse, because I left a dear friend in Ethiopia. And honestly, each time I go, another little part of my heart stays and it just hurts to get on that plane and come home.

But some other things happened this trip, that just made it even more difficult to leave Ethiopia. I met our sponsored child in March when he went with us to check out the boarding school. He's quiet and artistic and has a very pleasant personality. (So much of this culture is violent and dramatic and he is everything, but those things....love is blind!) Anyway, I was so excited for Derek to meet him. The first day Yasen kind of stayed by my side. After that, he really warmed up to Derek. There were five separate English classes and the Lord worked it out where Derek was Yasen's teacher. I do believe that this was God ordained. Yasen and Derek had a fabulous week together. At one point, Yasen asked if he could come back and stay at the guest house because he didn't have a bed. It warms my heart to know that soon...he will have a bed at boarding school. He also told me he was hungry and I'm sure he was...soon, he will have three meals a day.

His father showed up at the church one day and told us, "I give you my son. He is now your responsibility". Derek and I worked to clear this up very quickly. Yasen has a mother and father and a twin sister. We are not looking to disrupt his family situation. We just are willing to give him an opportunity for a good education. We explained this to his father through the interpreter and Derek told him that he still needed a father to guide him and direct him, etc. I was all tongue tied...I don't think I said anything. His father then went on to tell us that he is Muslim and that he is being persecuted because he is sending his son to a Christian school. He told us that it was a good opportunity for him and that's why he was willing to endure the persecution.



Wow...love is messy. This father obviously loves his son. Love is messy, because life would just be simpler if I didn't know...if I hadn't ever gone...if I didn't want to go back..... But I do know....I did go...and I do want to go back. There are risks involved with love...there are prices to be paid. God gave His only Son that Derek and Alicia and Stephen and Matthew and Elizabeth and Yasen and Yasen's father and mother and sister might have eternal life. Yes, it's messy. Everything isn't perfect...there are things to work through, but hope is alive in Ethiopia. God is proving Himself mighty and I believe that Yasen and his family are just a small part of the storyline. I'm thankful that I get to watch our God do great and mighty things!!

Love Well

I'm starting with the hardest post first...goodbyes. It's always fun to go. It's always hard to leave. On our last day in Ethiopia, Derek said something about how hard it is to say good-bye, but that it's never a reason not to go in the first place or to not come back. Sometimes the good-byes hurt so deeply that it makes me think I don't want to go back, because I don't want to have to say good-bye again.

First, it was saying good-bye to our sweet sponsored boy, Yasen. He fell apart to say the least. He basically cried most of the day on Friday. It ripped our hearts apart.



And then I had to say good-bye to one of my dearest friends. Matt, Derek and I had stopped by their house on Saturday to get some last minute video footage and she had planned to not come to the airport. So we circled up and prayed and I started crying about two seconds into the prayer. Corey and Sumer's oldest son Caleb said, "Ms. Alicia, why are you crying?" during the middle of the prayer. I giggled, but just went right back to crying. I must've been quite the sight because Caleb was quite concerned about my crying and even mentioned it on the way to the airpot a few hours later. So Sumer and I hugged for a long time and cried in each other's arms. It was horrible. I will forever remember what my sweet friend Kathleen always says though. If you hurt deeply, it means you have loved well. And so I must've loved really well because I could feel the hurt in every fiber of my being. I can barely see now because of the tears in my eyes. And if one good-bye wasn't enough, Sumer decided to stop by the guest house later that day and we had to do it all over again. And it hurt just as much the second time
around.


But I would do it again and again. My challenge to you is to love well. If you say good-bye and don't hurt deeply, then have you truly loved? My friend Sumer and every friend I have is worth every tear that falls when I have to walk away and say good-bye.

Change

You may think this is about all the change that we counted this weekend for VBS, but it's not! Our preschool VBS raised over $1500 through a build-a-bed change offering for Sweet Sleep...more about that in another post.

It's about the change in my life. I've worked for our church for the last several years. First, I worked in women's ministry and learned lots of things and then I transitioned over to preschool ministry. I'm an administrator...it's one of my spiritual gifts although many times I wish it wasn't. I like to organize things and get things running smoothly. I have a logisitical mind and I can tell you why something won't work or what will make it work more effectively. With that sometimes comes a critical spirit, because I can see everything that needs to be fixed. And so, I expected that when I went to work for my friend Angela aka Big Nanny, that there would be conflict. Surprising, God knit our hearts together and I believe we accomplished much for His kingdom. I had the honor and privilege to work alongside a very sweet friend. And we rarely had conflict! And in the process of working in preschool ministry, God gave me many other sweet friends along the way. I won't name them because I would be sure to leave someone out, but you probably know who you are.

And all along God was stirring in me a heart for missions. And so Sumer, Angela, Tabby, Jesse and I headed to Africa last December with Visiting Orphans. And then God gave me an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. I wanted to say yes and I wanted to say no. I didn't want to leave my friends at TSC, but I knew that my passion was for missions and orphans and those that desperately need the love of a Savior. I am willing to go. I am willing to serve, but it's not without cost. Every step of obedience involves some level of sacrifice. My friend Sumer moved to Africa...heartbreaking and yet exciting all at the same time. Sacrifice. I am walking away from a job I absolutely love. Sacrifice. I love Angela, I love the TSC staff, I love those sweet preschoolers and their precious smiles, I love the preschool moms and dads, I love the preschool teachers, oh how I have grown to love each one of them. And yet, God has asked me to say good-bye to this season of my life. I am walking away from what is comfortable and what I love....casual dinners to discuss preschool ministry, pedicures to discuss preschool ministry, trips to Atlanta for preschool conferences and hot dogs at the Varsity (NOT!), a fun and loving staff, etc. But I know that on the other side of sacrifice and obedience is great blessing. I already love working for VO. I have already made new friends and I'm sure I'll make many more. All because God asked me to take a step of faith and walk in new territory.

And just in case you wondered, He had a plan all along. Ashley C. took Sumer's position and Kim P. took mine. They were made for the ministry. They are two incredible women and preschool ministry at TSC has new energy and excitement because of them.

Ashley, Angela, Alicia, Kim

And so, that's the change in my life. And Angela and me, well, I'm sure God has a new season of friendship for us. We were walking partners for awhile and then partners in ministry and who knows what's next. The Lord knows and I trust Him with all of me!

Thanks for all the sweet memories, TSC Preschool! It has been an incredibly fun season of my life! This post was written through tears...shocking I know.

He Sees Each Tear That Falls

He puts them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). What a tender God we serve!

There are two little children that captured my heart and God won't let me forget my short time with them. I think of them often. I pray for them when they come to my mind...just like Joel and Yasin and Alexis and Keoshira and Carolina and the many more. They are faces in my mind and places in my heart that have been forever changed because of the touch they've had on my life.

This story I don't even want to write....I don't want to think about it, but these two children are in my heart and I think about them every day since I've been home.

The father that should be protecting this sweet six year old little girl has instead chosen to do things that I can't even mention. She is a timid girl...she hardly even spoke...I rarely saw her smile. She cried, really she sobbed for her mother one day when we were leaving. Honestly what little girl wouldn't want her mommy...the only mommy she's ever known. I just kept thinking that as those tears fell...the Lord knows and the Lord sees and He's catching these tears. My heart was being ripped in two because I knew her story. I knew why she was timid...I knew why she said very little and I knew why she didn't smile and giggle like some of the other girls. She missed the fun beach day because she had to go to a forensic medical appointment. Frustrating...no six year old girl should have to endure that. I wanted to bring her home and let her have a daddy that adores her and loves her and protects her. A daddy who would teach her about a loving, heavenly Father that has immeasurable love for her. And yet, I had to walk away and it was hard, very hard.

And after further investigation, they decided that the home wasn't a safe place for her brother either. And this one captured my heart with his long eyelashes, his playful spirit, his incredible smile and the large scar on his cheek that probably has a story of it's own. The evil in this world sometimes seems almost too much to bear, especially evil against children. But then I remember that the victory is already won. Good beats evil and the enemy has been defeated. The day of vengeance will come. There is a Judge of this earth and people will give account.
And the God that I serve can do exceeding abundantly in the lives of two precious children whose lives have been overturned. There isn't a mountain that our God can't move and I trust and believe that He has great things for Adela and Marvin.

He Knows Their Name

Every time I go on a mission trip, something different pulls at my heart. Sometimes different things hit me on different days.

Day 1 at Coco's and we were all introducing ourselves in Spanish which is funny in itself if you've ever heard me try to speak Spanish. :-) One of the tias said that this baby was 7 months old and she didn't have a name. Obviously, that did not go over well. We also thought that there was no way possible that this baby was 7 months old because my babies were bigger than this little one when they were newborns. Brian asked a few more questions and they held to their 7 month old status.

It bothered me all day and all night that this sweet little one didn't have a name. I guess they are waiting on the mom who is addicted to drugs to either name the baby or the government would name the baby. I wanted to tell the tias (nannies) to just name the baby. She needs to be loved on and she is an individual created by an Almighty God. But unfortunately, the relationship is not there for me to say anything and so I just prayed for God to be near to this sweet one.

After some further questions, we found out that the baby was born at 7 months and was now one month old. Gwen decided from the very beginning that this sweet baby was her assignment. I don't even think I held her for more than 5 minutes because she was almost always in Gwen's arms, which is incredibly sweet! Amazing how the Lord moves different people to different assignments.

And every day when I saw this little one, all I could think of is the song that says "He knows my name....He knows my every thought....He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call..." And that's about the only thing that brought me comfort regarding this situation. I know that the Lord is all knowing and all seeing and I trust that He'll intervene on this sweet precious little girl's behalf. All the days ordained for her were written in His book before there was yet one of them.

What $80 Can Do

It can bring some big smiles to some kids in Costa Rica who desperately needed some swings for their swing set.


And these faces are why we go....they are loved and cherished by our heavenly Father. God has great plans and a purpose for their lives. They are wonderfully and uniquely made and are worthy to be loved and how they desperately need to be loved. These faces bring sweet memories to my mind!

Amazing What A Little Paint Can Do

All is well in Costa Rica. I have a gecko living in my room...at least he joined me his morning and is making all kinds of noise. I prefer him over the very large roach that our team saw last night.

It was a little cooler yesterday and we were able to seal the cement walls and then get them painted at the orphanage. The team that comes in on this Saturday will paint a mural on one of the walls. The difference a little paint can make is unbelievable. The kids pitched in and helped and the team endured the heat, worked hard and even painted in the rain. We also fixed the seesaw, a gaping hole in the swing set, and one of the swings. The next team will bring hinges to attach a second swing. As soon as those things got fixed, the kids immediately started playing on the swing set again. That made us all happy.

THE BEFORE: We scrubbed these walls with wire scrub brushes trying to get the mold, mildew and other various fungus off the walls.




MIDWAY: The white sealer even made a difference. These are kids that helped us paint.




THE END RESULT:

And this is the little boy that captured my heart...it happens every time. He just came to the house today, a sad story that I can't even type out at this point.