How Are You?

I was waiting at the school to have lunch with Matthew. I sat down next to a mom I didn't know who was also waiting for her child to come to lunch.

I asked the polite question, "How are you?"

She hesitated for just a second, sighed and with an accent said, "I am tired".

Honestly, she caught me so off guard I didn't even know what to say. People always respond with I'm fine, I'm good, Better than I deserve or something like that.

This woman had been honest. I didn't know what to do with that. And in that moment...I was back in Ethiopia or any other culture across the world. Why? Because this woman wasn't born and raised in the US. She didn't know that you're supposed to say "I'm fine" or "I'm good" even when you're not. I remember having this very conversation with my host mom in Germany. In Germany, they don't just quickly ask you how you are and then keep walking on by. They stop and they listen and they really want to know how you're doing. At least they did in the small town of Zulpich, Germany.

And on that day when I thought I was just meeting Matthew for lunch, I learned something at my son's school. I'm too busy if I don't have the time to stop and really find out how someone's doing. And I'm too busy if I don't have the time to stop and tell someone that I'm really struggling with this or that and I'd really appreciate their prayers. And I'm too busy if I'm just asking "how are you?" out of good manners or obligation, not really willing to invest in the one that I'm asking. And we're just lying when we say "i'm fine" when life is really crumbling all around us.

I read this on facebook today and it penetrated to my heart. It was a reminder to me that people matter and how they are doing matters too.

Have you considered the multigenerational impact of Jesus pouring His life into 12 people? Imagine the fruit if you were to do the same! Dave Buehring

Is Your Church Your Family?

Everyday life events become Bible lessons for me. It happens almost every day...I'm just living life and something minor happens and I feel like God teaches me a spiritual lesson. Tonight was one of those lessons.

There was a time that we lived here when we didn't have any family living close...so the church became our family in more ways than one. The Bible says weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Our church did both of those things with us. And they became our family. I told our pastor about nine months ago that I think church is like family. There are times when you disagree and you just want to walk away (sometimes run away), but you can't because they're family. You stick together in the good times and the bad. We all get frustrated with things. We don't always agree. We get our feelings hurt and we get offended. And Satan uses that offense to cause division in the church. Sometimes people just walk away from the church or God completely.

This breaks my heart and I know it breaks God's. And so, I've committed not to walk away, no matter what, unless God gives us release. And I'm thinking God will only give us release from this church family if there is doctrinal error being taught. Why? Because, we're family and you just don't walk away from family. You can fight and you can be frustrated and you can want to walk away, but in the end, you stay. Why? Because they know you like no one else and they love you anyway. And you know them like no one else and you love them anyway.

Tonight, our pastor honored a family who has been at the church for over 20 years. They have been there through the good times and bad. Everyone clapped. I stood. Why? Because I know these people personally and I love them dearly. They are good people and they understand that church is family. Have they always agreed with everything at the church...I'm guessing not. How could they agree with everything in 20+ years?

Someone said to me after the service, "I looked and saw that you were the only one standing and I felt bad for you." I said, "Don't feel bad for me. I am not ashamed to stand by myself". Some of that is just in my personality...I've always been willing to take a stand even if it meant standing by myself. But tonight, this was personal. I wasn't looking for people to join me. I was just being obedient to what I felt God prompted me to do. Some people have left our church and it hurts. It'd be foolishness to pretend like it didn't. But the decision for us is that we're in it for the long run....even if it's hard at times.

I'm reading a book on spiritual warfare and the premise of the book is this: everything visible and physical is the result of something invisible and spiritual. Therefore, only by addressing the invisible, spiritual cause can we fix what is wrong with our visible, physical lives (Tony Evans).

The battle is waging...whether we know it or whether we see it. There is a war going on all the time. And so this family is going to rally behind our pastor and leadership. I personally am going to pray with more perseverance and more passion, because I do truly believe that our greatest days are ahead. And I want to be a part of them as we rejoice together and give God the glory for the great things He will do!

I hope you love your church and that they too are your family.

This Wasn't the Plan

Do you ever have one of those weeks when things just don't go according to the plan? On Sunday I mapped out my week in my head, but by late Sunday evening that plan was out the door. My mom was in the hospital with kidney stones on Sunday. By Monday morning, my boss was in the hospital with kidney stones. I ended up going into work several days last week just to fill in here and there while Amanda was out. Mom was released on Monday evening and then she found out that she'd have need to have surgery again on Friday because the stone wasn't small enough. Anyway, that meant I was dog sitting on Friday which is super easy....except when you take the dog out the back door and close the door not realizing that the door was locked.

Friday was my "run errands" day. I had my list and I was ready to go. I had from 9-2 to hit all the stores and knock everything off my list. I was determined to get it all done. That was the plan until I realized I was locked out of the house. I could give you a whole explanation of how this happened, but it really doesn't matter. No hidden key. No phone. No garage door opener.

So Lucy (she's the dog) and I walked to our neighbor's house down the street. I don't see her nearly enough so I thought, I'll just hang out with her until Derek can come home and let me in. But she didn't answer the door.

Okay, I need a plan B. My next door neighbor might be home...I'll borrow her phone. But on the way back to our house, I ended up standing and talking to another neighbor about dogs, adoption, parenting, etc. At this point, I need a second shower of the day because it was quite hot outside. (Why I didn't ask this neighbor for my "free phone call"...no idea)

And so I head back and thankfully my sweet neighbor Cindy was home. I did call Derek, but he had a lunch meeting and couldn't leave. I told him to call my dad and tell him to just come whenever he could get away for 30 minutes (remember that my dad is at the hospital with my mom which is why I was taking a dog outside in the first place). And so, he called my dad and my dad left the hospital to come let Lucy and me in the house. I learned quite a few lessons that day as Lucy and I sat on the deck and waited.

Lessons Learned:
1) I am thankful for air conditioning.
2) Even if you're 38 years old, you still need your dad.
3) It's good to plan, but read James 4:13-15. "If the Lord wills we will do this and that" The Lord is going to determine our steps (Proverbs 16:9)
4) Sometimes God interrupts your plan, just to get your attention and to show you His plan.
5) If we were all honest, our lives didn't turn out like we had planned, but His ways are higher than our ways.(Isaiah 55:8-9)

I like a plan and I like for things to go according to the plan. But things don't always go as planned and that's okay, especially because His plan is always, always, always better.

I thought I was supposed to marry someone else, BUT GOD gave me Derek. I couldn't ask for a better husband.
I thought that I would have biological children, BUT GOD gave me Stephen, Matthew and Elizabeth. I can't imagine life without them.
I thought that I would always be a teacher, BUT GOD gave me a heart for missions and a job at Visiting Orphans.
I thought that we were done with the preschool parenting years, BUT GOD said, "No, not yet."
I thought that my life didn't need anymore girlfriends, BUT GOD continues to send me sweet new friends all the time.

And part of me wants to know what my life will look like 5 years from now. Honestly though, I know it won't look like any plan that I could put together. And the crazy thing is...I'm okay with that. I am at peace surrendering those plans to Him and trusting that He is ordaining our steps. And if I get too caught up in my plans...then I guess God will just have to lock the door again to get my attention. It's through closed doors and interruptions that He gets us on the path He has for us. And His path never disappoints!

My Sweet Pea

She's 9 today. I love her more deeply than I knew someone could love a child. I don't love her more than the boys, I just love her in a different way. She's an encourager. She should be a teacher or a nurse, because she's compassionate and she's concerned about others....always. And she'll tell you that you're pretty or that she loves you or that you did a good job.

And she's the one that announced to her crew at VBS last summer that we were getting a baby from Africa....Derek and I didn't even know that. It was news to us. And it took us almost 7 months to decide that we were indeed going to get a baby from Africa. Elizabeth wanted a baby sister and Derek and I did too, BUT GOD says "it's a boy" and so Elizabeth will remain the only princess in the family. And she's such a good princess.....

Happy Birthday Sweet Pea!

I Blinked

Are my kids really 11, 10 and almost 9? Do I really have a child going into middle school and another into 4th grade and another into 3rd?

I changed my report card in two of those grades...shocking, I know.

Lots of pregnancies and babies being born all around me. I say the same thing to every expectant and every new parent, "It goes by so fast. Try to enjoy it." About a million people told me that, but I didn't get it. But now, I get it. Now I would go back and I would do things so very different. The things that mattered then, I realize now, don't really matter. And I wouldn't wish those tough preschool years away, but I would take more pictures and take more video and just spend more time hanging out as a family. Because in the blink of an eye and the snap of a finger, it's gone.

And now I have a son going into middle school. He's mowing the yard on a riding mower all on his own now. I looked at him the other day on that mower and thought, he'll be driving in no time. Where's the little guy that made strong man muscles with his arms? And where's the guy who liked for us to read Chicka Chicka Boom Boom and Goodnight Moon at least 10 times a day?

I blinked and it's gone.



And so I'm determined that somehow I'm going to slow down time. 7 years and Stephen will be leaving for college. Somehow I'm going to blink slower and savor those 7 more years even though they might be the 7 hardest that we've had yet.

And so my advice to you is to enjoy as many moments as you can. Take lots of pictures. Take lots of video. Love each other well and find times to just be a family. Because believe me, you'll blink and your one year old that doesn't sleep through the night will be heading to middle school. And you'll be restless and unable to sleep through the night because you just can't believe that he's almost 12 and heading to middle school and it seems like just yesterday that they put him in your arms.

Blink slowly if you can!

Simply Love Shirts are Coming

So, the Simply Love shirts have been on backorder, but they should arrive this Wednesday. Hooray! Please let me know if you want one. You can order on my blog or send me an email.

They are $25 each and it all goes to help pay for our adoption.

They are the Next Level Alternative Brand and both are on brown heather (espresso). The ladies' shirt comes in both a ladies/junior cut and a unisex/standard cut. For the ladies' cut, you'll need to order several sizes up. (I wear a small/medium in most tshirts and require an XL in this ladies cut as it fits more slender).

The men's shirts fit pretty true to size (maybe a tiny bit smaller than normal), so order true to size or one up if you're debating between two sizes.
The men's shirts are brown heather as well even though they are shown here in the army green.

Thanks so much for supporting our family!

Double Digits, Baby!

This is what Matthew told someone the other day when they asked how old he was. "Double Digits, Baby! He's 10! Double digits.

And so the birthday boy/girl always gets to pick the restaurant and he picked Logan's.

And only Matthew would be excited about receiving a stapler for his birthday.



And some arts and craft supplies make it the best birthday ever.




So glad that Uncle Jeremy and Aunt Jen came to dinner along with "Regular Nanny and Papa" (no picture of them).



And we skipped the birthday cake and headed to Sweet CeCe's. It's his birthday, so I let him put a pound of sugar on his ice cream.







Love this boy! He makes me laugh until my belly hurts. He never gives up and will wear you down until you give in (he really should be a salesman someday). His birthday list included an ipad, an ipod touch, an iphone, a laptop and some iron (he's going to melt it down and make something....who knows?) By the way, he didn't get anything on that list!